Episode Transcripts
Jump To:
1 - The Ringmasters (4/30)
2 - The Trials (6/25)
3 - Dashcon-Eve (7/4)
Episode 1: The Ringmasters
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:47:08
O Stecina (They/He)
The world has changed in many ways since 2014. As a totally random example, you used to be able to “go nuts, show nuts” on Tumblr. Those were the days. But despite popular belief, there are still people who actively use Tumblr. Living mostly algorithm free, generating discourse, posting their Blorbos, reblogging something for that one mutual like Gatsby throwing parties in the hopes that Daisy attends.
00:00:47:10 - 00:01:12:08
Creating the screenshots that you'll see on Instagram and Reddit in a few weeks. And I am one of those people. Hi, my name is O, just like the letter, and my first tumblr post was May 25th, 2014 and is as follows. Post title: “Tumblr” Post body: “Well hi everyone. Someone teach me how to do this stuff. I will pay you in hugs and imaginary potatoes.”
00:01:12:10 - 00:01:29:05
I had just finished seventh grade, realized that I was queer, and about a month after posting that I would be at VidCon waiting nine and a half hours in line to meet Dan and Phil and give them a DVD that I burned myself with this video on it, which I have never played for another soul before.
00:01:29:07 - 00:01:47:04
O, age 13
I first started watching both of you almost a whole year ago, after my friend recommended you at summer camp. The first night I watched, I stayed up till one in the morning watching all the videos I could find of you two. After I started watching you for a while, I started looking you guys up on my social media sites and found quite a few fan accounts and followed them, and many of them became my friends.
00:01:47:05 - 00:02:08:04
I actually made my own fan account, allyourfandomsarebelongtous, because of the others. Later I decided that I wanted to get my haircut like you guys, and I did. So do you notice anything different about me? Maybe the fact that all my hair is gone. I just finished getting it cut and it looks awesome. I wanted it to look like Danisnotonfire.
00:02:08:04 - 00:02:25:01
And it does. And I'm happy. And yay! So I owe you an epic haircut and a portion of my personality. I had always known I was different, but was afraid to come out. Watching you both helped me know that no matter what I am, I will be accepted by someone. You've shaped my hair, my personality, my friendships, and my life.
00:02:25:03 - 00:02:40:24
I know that there are so many fans that you both have that obsess over you, but I just want you to know that I am who I am because my friend Nevaeh told me to watch Danisnotonfire and Amazingphil at summer camp. I'm so happy that you watched this far and it was awesome meeting you guys. Bye!
00:02:41:01 - 00:02:58:21
O Stecina (They/He)
I still have no idea why my parents let me go to VidCon by myself. I spent all of my food money on merch, but I was able to meet the cast of MyMusic. Does anybody remember MyMusic? See Potter Puppet Pals live and watch a screening of The Fault in Our Stars with John Green, Mr. Fishingboatproceeds himself, in attendance.
00:02:58:23 - 00:03:21:10
It was a very well-run convention, and it was probably the most people that I had ever been around at once, coming from a small town in Colorado. But while I was off at VidCon and really only on Tumblr for Dan and Phil, Bo Burnham, and Nancy Drew content, Tumblr at large was preparing for Dashcon. Held the weekend of July 11th, 2014, at the Renaissance Schaumburg Convention Center Hotel in Schaumburg, Illinois,
00:03:21:11 - 00:03:43:10
Dashcon was, by all accounts, a mess. They expected 7000 people to come, and only about 350 did. The folks from Welcome to Night Vale, who were featured guests, couldn't be paid in advance of their appearance and didn't have transportation or hotel costs covered, so they didn't show. The consolation for this, for the people who had been waiting for the panel? An extra hour in the ball pit.
00:03:43:12 - 00:03:51:03
The original ball pit was about the size of a kiddy pool, and despite myths to the contrary, there is no evidence that anyone actually pissed in it,
00:03:51:14 - 00:04:16:05
or gave birth in it. In fact, there were many games of misinformation telephone going on because people who were there were live-blogging the whole thing, intermingled in tags with people who were not there, and are what Canadians affectionately refer to as “shit-disturbers”. What is true is that on the first night of the convention, the hotel told Dashcon organizers that they needed to pay for the space right then and there, which they were not able to do.
00:04:16:07 - 00:04:44:10
They turned to the crowd, asking for $17,000 in donations to keep the con alive, after people had already paid $65 for weekend pass tickets and raised about $4,000 for the initial Indiegogo campaign. For a lot of people, this cemented the idea in their minds that Dashcon had entirely been a scam. They did end up raising the money, but the entire convention was marred with a general lack of preparedness, a lot of empty space, and plenty of gawkers, both online and in person.
00:04:44:12 - 00:04:53:09
There were dozens of news articles and videos about Dashcon, and it's firmly secured its place in cringe history.
00:04:53:11 - 00:05:13:00
Now, I wasn't there. I didn't learn about all of this until much later, through good old fashioned posting osmosis. But I don't think that Dashcon was designed to be a scam like some say it was. I think there were some people working very hard to do something that was basically impossible for them to achieve, and some others who saw that desperation and used it for their own personal benefit.
00:05:13:02 - 00:05:42:19
It's a classic story. They even tried to hold another pseudo-Dashcon called Emoti-Con the next year, but it died. Cut to July 2024. Ten years have passed. I've been on T for three years, moved from Colorado to Toronto to study sound design, and I have three girlfriends. And yes, they all smoke weed. But I am still on Tumblr posting about Julia Serano, reminiscing about physical media, complaining about the housing market, and letting Maisie Car drive around my dashboard.
00:05:42:21 - 00:06:01:14
July 31st, Dashcon 2 gets announced, and in my city no less. I immediately signed up for the mailing list, resolving to purchase a ticket no matter what, which is met with giggles from my nesting partner, but whatever. I'm cringe, but I am free. September 7th, an interest form goes out for volunteers and I also immediately sign up for that.
00:06:01:14 - 00:06:19:04
Maybe I'll bring my microphone, I think to myself. My classes for my final year of university have just started, and my thoughts on Dashcon 2 go dormant until second semester, when I start taking The Art of Podcasting with Lori Beckstead. A few days into the class, the Dashcon 2 mailing list gets an update. The venue and dates have been announced.
00:06:19:06 - 00:06:53:17
Everything is starting to coalesce. January 30th I sent an email to queries@dashcontwo.com asking if they'd like some free media in the form of my podcast assignment for this course, and they respond two days later with a yes, which I was honestly not expecting. My quest in life has now become to document this silly convention, to get it right this time, to be there for it all, to introduce people to the wonderful city I've come to call home, and to go in a real life ball pit for the first time in my life.
00:06:53:19 - 00:07:19:21
Dashcon 2 is taking place on July 5th, 2025 at the Japanese Canadian Cultural Centre, which you'll often hear referred to as just the JCCC. It's situated right around where the Don Valley Parkway meets Eglinton Avenue in the North York area of Toronto. The JCCC itself has been around since 1963 and has hosted a variety of festivals, exhibitions, film screenings, and small conventions with a focus on sharing Japanese art and culture.
00:07:19:23 - 00:07:44:23
Their website’s Land Acknowledgment states, “We, the Japanese Canadian Cultural Centre, acknowledge that we are hosted on the traditional territory of many nations, including the Mississaugas of the Credit, the Anishnabeg, the Chippewa, the Haudenosaunee, and the Wendat peoples, and is now home to many diverse First Nations, Inuit, and Métis people.” Being in Toronto, you'll end up hearing this boilerplate land acknowledgment a lot, at the start of events and on websites like this.
00:07:45:00 - 00:08:07:03
Let's get a little bit deeper into it and learn what these terms actually mean, and a little bit of the history behind the land. First Nations refers to the hundreds of communities of Indigenous or Aboriginal people across Canada. Inuit is the collective name of the peoples of the Arctic, meaning “the people” in the Inuktitut language. And the Métis people are communities of people who are of both European and First Nations descent.
00:08:07:05 - 00:08:28:01
First Nations, Indigenous, and Aboriginal all describe the same thing, and terms like Native American and Indian are considered outdated in a Canadian context. Toronto comes from a Mohawk word, “Tkaronto” which means “the place in the water where the trees are standing.” This water being the rivers where the Haudenosaunee and Huron-Wendat utilized fishing weirs to hunt for food.
00:08:28:03 - 00:08:54:18
The land that the JCCC is on was a part of the Toronto Purchase, and the British Crown did a lot of incredibly shady things over the late 1700s and early 1800s to claim legal rights over that land, like claiming that gifts given to the Mississaugas were payment for the land, having chiefs sign blank documents and then physically transferring those signatures to different documents, and finally paying for basically the whole city of Toronto with ten shillings, which is about $60.
00:08:54:18 - 00:09:14:13
Something you'll also hear a lot is that Toronto is in the Dish With One Spoon territory. “The Dish With One Spoon is a treaty between the Anishinaabe, the Mississaugas, and the Haudenosaunee that bound them to share the territory and protect the land. Subsequent Indigenous nations and peoples, Europeans and all newcomers, have been invited into this treaty in the spirit of peace, friendship, and respect.”
00:09:14:15 - 00:09:38:04
I myself am a newcomer to Canada, having been welcomed here from the United States, where I grew up on the lands of the Sioux, Cheyenne, Arapaho and Ute. Canada and the US both have extremely fraught histories with the indigenous people whose land they colonized, and a quest for truth and reconciliation has been ongoing in Canada. Using tools like the website “whose.land” can give you a better understanding of the history of the land that you're on,
00:09:38:04 - 00:09:54:22
and I think it's really important to note that everybody attending Dashcon 2 is a guest in multiple capacities. You're a guest to the venue in their efforts to educate about and support Japanese culture, a lot of you will be guests to Canada and Toronto, and all of us are guests for the original stewards of the land, so be kind to it, okay?
00:10:03:13 - 00:10:14:13
The Dashcon 2 team is incredibly small and entirely volunteer based. Although they're not associated with the original Dashcon crew, there are a decent amount of similarities between them.
00:10:14:15 - 00:10:19:13
Avis (They/Them)
I feel like, of Simone and I, it's kind of like, I am the voice of caution. She is the voice of go for it.
00:10:19:18 - 00:10:22:05
Martin (He/Him)
And yet both of them still have incredible amounts of hubris.
00:10:22:07 - 00:10:36:10
Avis (They/Them)
Together we build one fully rounded business person. We were like, all like, hanging out on her couch, and she just said something, it was like, oh, it was a little bit out of the blue. But she said, like, “My toxic trait is that I think I could run Dashcon.”
00:10:36:19 - 00:10:54:06
And I love her for that. Well, we started talking about it because I was also like, yeah, I could probably run Dashcon. But the problem is, the more we started discussing it, the more we realized it was actually feasible. Like when we started talking to more and more like of our friends and like our circle, we realized just like, oh, there are so many more people,
00:10:54:06 - 00:10:55:20
For example, like Martin.
00:10:55:20 - 00:11:12:16
Martin (He/Him)
Yeah, you called me the night of. As like after you were discussing it, and you're like, “Hey, would you be down to run Dashcon 2?” and I was just like, sure, why not? And I immediately got to work on, like, trying to draft, like, different logos and, the mascots, the “Cirque du Dash”.
00:11:12:18 - 00:11:35:02
O Stecina (They/He)
They're young, scrappy and hungry. I'm sorry, I had to. And they're definitely not in it for the money. I met with Avis, who serves as the co-director, and Martin, the art director, a few weeks before tickets went on sale. They had high hopes, but were also trying to be fairly realistic about things, especially considering the reputation that preceded them.
00:11:35:04 - 00:11:38:20
Do you think that it's going to sell out? How fast do you think it's going to sell out?
00:11:38:22 - 00:11:45:20
Martin (He/Him)
We're trying to not be too... even like this far in, like even doing an interview. We're still trying to, like, temper our expectations.
00:11:45:20 - 00:11:49:22
Avis (They/Them)
It is rule number one on our list, rule number two, for the record, is answer your email.
00:11:49:23 - 00:11:57:12
Martin (He/Him)
I feel good about our numbers. I don't know about selling out. And we're really hoping to avoid scalpers.
00:11:57:18 - 00:12:25:20
O Stecina (They/He)
If any of you were also waiting at 8:55 a.m. EST, February 22nd, wielding a credit card and readying your refresh trigger finger. You'll know that they did, in fact, sell out. Within less than half an hour. They also managed to completely crash the website of their ticketing platform. It was chaos. That chaos isn't new, though. Behind the scenes, a lot of scrambling was done to even get to this point.
00:12:25:22 - 00:12:45:08
Avis (They/Them)
So right off the bat, we knew we were planning for a way smaller crowd. Originally we were planning for about 300 attendees because, from the information we had at the time, that was about how many attendees as the original Dashcon was, and that was about as much interest as we kind of expected to garner, to be honest. We had originally selected a venue where, Martin, you knew some of the people who worked there.
00:12:45:08 - 00:12:49:01
We had a couple connections, and it was around the size that we were looking for.
00:12:49:05 - 00:13:11:16
Martin (He/Him)
The only issue is, during our process of drafting, trying to figure out, and negotiate, our expectations, what the security was going to look like. The person that I was connected with, brought it up with the board that the event space used. And unfortunately, they knew the original Dashcon and, like, the legacy.
00:13:11:18 - 00:13:14:07
So the board shut us down.
00:13:14:09 - 00:13:20:01
Avis (They/Them)
We had been braced for a no right off the bat, we had not been braced for a no three months into discussions with this venue.
00:13:20:03 - 00:13:22:14
Martin (He/Him)
And we'd already gone like, semipublic.
00:13:22:16 - 00:13:27:00
Avis (They/Them)
They backed out on us after our announcement with Strange.
00:13:27:02 - 00:13:55:14
O Stecina (They/He)
I feel like the Venn diagram between people who are listening to this podcast, and people who put on a Strange Aeons video to wind down after a long day is pretty circular. But affectionately referred to usually as just “Strange”, Strange Aeons is a YouTuber who's pretty much served as Tumblr's cultural historian for the past seven years, providing long form dramatic readings of iconic posts and also doing her fair share of analysis on the Hellsite's ecosystem.
00:13:55:16 - 00:14:17:08
Of course, she's got a video on Dashcon, probably the most comprehensive and the least mean spirited, at least as far as I've seen. She's also based in Toronto, although I've yet to encounter her on the TTC. When Avis learned that Strange was going to be making a video about the original Dashcon, they swooped in, possessing little but a domain name, to start a partnership of sorts.
00:14:17:10 - 00:14:37:12
Avis (They/Them)
I think we put in like the 50 bucks to get the website for a year. We didn't want to put in a lot more than that from the beginning, until we had more things lined up, because getting an email from “@dashcontwo.com” immediately hands like some legitimacy. So we sent her an email, I think like the first sentence of the email was just like, “I know that the subject line of this is a lot. Bear with me”
00:14:37:14 - 00:14:39:13
Martin (He/Him)
I know this sounds bad.
00:14:39:15 - 00:14:42:16
Avis (They/Them)
But we had a call with her like shortly after that.
00:14:42:18 - 00:14:46:05
O Stecina (They/He)
Things started to get really real at that point.
00:14:46:07 - 00:14:48:04
Avis (They/Them)
We spoke to Lochlan O’Neil, actually.
00:14:48:09 - 00:15:14:09
O Stecina (They/He)
Lochlan O'Neil was 15 years old when she first got the idea for Dashcon in 2012. She was getting high school internship credits for planning it. She was also the one holding the paper bag, asking a bunch of other teenagers for cash donations, in full Homestuck cosplay, because several actual adults had been incredibly financially irresponsible and weren't able to pay the convention center or the featured guests ahead of time.
00:15:14:11 - 00:15:34:02
Avis (They/Them)
So we got the like, their perspective on the original Dashcon and like some other information from them. They're wonderful. Strange, I believe, put us in contact with them. And then we had sent an email to Tumblr. I think we sent it to Tumblr Press. Because that's one of the emails they have public on their site that was just like, “Hey, we're doing Dashcon 2, would Tumblr would be interested in sponsoring it?”
00:15:34:02 - 00:15:36:11
Martin (He/Him)
And it was just like a crack shot. We weren't really expecting much.
00:15:36:11 - 00:15:57:13
Avis (They/Them)
It was shot in the dark. We got an email back that was just like, “Hey, Tumblr is not interested in sponsoring anything at this time.” And we're like, okay, that's that. And then... I think a week later, if that, we get double texted from Tumblr. Tumblr sends us another email. Where it’s the same person like, “Hey, we've been talking around the office and everyone's like, wants to make Dashcon 2 a success.
00:15:59:07- 00:16:05:19
I have CC’ed the COO of Tumblr and we're thinking we could give you free Blaze credits on Tumblr.”
00:16:05:21 - 00:16:06:19
O Stecina (They/He)
Oh!
00:16:06:19 - 00:16:19:16
Avis (They/Them)
Yeah. So, if you notice in our original announcer post, we put, at the bottom, like, “Blaze credits somehow provided by Tumblr.” So whenever we’ve blazed a post on Tumblr, it has been because we've gotten that free coupon from them.
00:16:19:18 - 00:16:20:15
Martin (He/Him)
We really appreciate it.
00:16:20:16 - 00:16:30:19
Avis (They/Them)
It's wonderful. And so that was just like a wild moment. And it was kind of like one of the moments early on where we realized, oh, wow, we're doing this.
00:16:30:21 - 00:16:36:07
Martin (He/Him)
It's like, wow, I'm really doing like, the marketing for Dashcon 2. Okay.
00:16:36:09 - 00:16:56:22
O Stecina (They/He)
Tumblr is also famous for its ability to rally together to drive someone's mental health into the ground. “This site's hate mail game is insane,” Quoth Ortiel42, creator of Cookie Clicker, after being told he seems like someone who “unironically enjoyed electro swing circa 2012” on an anonymous ask.
00:16:56:24 - 00:17:21:06
Avis (They/Them)
Honestly, the response in general has been incredibly positive. Which was something we were surprised by, because we've been kind of bracing ourselves for the Tumblr cynicism the whole time. Because, like, Tumblr is, my home. It is also a cesspit. And I think that, like, there is the expected amount of people being like, “Hey, guys, why are you creating the next Torment Nexus from the book Don’t Create The Torment Nexus?”
00:17:24:06 - 00:17:28:16
Martin (He/Him)
Yeah. That Hellsite has found my personal LinkedIn a couple times. Yeah.
00:17:28:18 - 00:17:34:18
Avis (They/Them)
We actually had our names and images on the website. That was taken down real fast once the post started gaining numbers.
00:17:34:20 - 00:18:00:01
O Stecina (They/He)
In addition to having giant clown shoes to fill, the Dashcon 2 team has to grapple with the fact that they're soon going to be in a fairly small building with 500 of the most ravenous members of the site's user base, sweating off their Sharpie-bath-gray skin in the Toronto heat, and eagerly hoping to see some of the real life faces behind iconic blogs like themuppetjoker and hymen-restoration-project.
00:18:00:03 - 00:18:12:17
Attendees have promised not to piss in the ball pit lest they face a $1,000 fine. Provided that everyone behaves themselves, though, there are a lot of good signs for this new crew.
00:18:12:19 - 00:18:37:17
Avis (They/Them)
Legally speaking, I should clarify. Legally speaking, according to our contract, the convention is not happening unless we pay the venue in full before the day of the event. There will be no hat passed around the room, I promise. We're actually going to be raising money for the Canadian Cancer Society. If you can't come or you think we're a scam, spend whatever money you would have spent on tickets on this. Pretty early into the planning process of Dashcon 2,
00:18:37:19 - 00:18:54:21
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. And it made a lot of things, like, really difficult in my life. And so, Simone had the idea of fundraising for cancer as a way to feel like I could do something for her. It's not the first time someone in my family has dealt with cancer, and it's impacted a lot of our team.
00:18:54:21 - 00:19:12:20
Avis (They/Them)
And so it's such an important cause. So just check out the link. It'll be in our bio. It'll be on our website. We cannot touch this money. It is not going to us, the link will take you to the Canadian Care Society's website. I believe we're raising money for, whatever research is in the most need right now.
00:19:12:22 - 00:19:19:01
And our, fundraising goal is $17,000.
00:19:19:03 - 00:19:28:03
O Stecina (They/He)
And the “Cirque du Dash” clowns, genetically engineered in a lab to be as Tumblr as possible, are already getting lots of asks on their roleplay blog.
00:19:28:03 - 00:19:51:04
Martin (He/Him)
From the get-go, We kind of knew that we wanted, like, some mascot characters, because we were really inspired by a number of other, like, local conventions. And we had the idea of what if we had a Tumblr Sexyman. And so I was like, pulling like a human Bill Cipher. I was pulling Onceler, like, just like the toe to tip quintessential, like, Sexyman dynamics.
00:19:51:04 - 00:20:12:04
But as I was going through and analyzing some of these I like, I started like pulling like Sans. I started pulling like Reigen. I was like, there's something here. So, we ended up, wanting to develop a, a full circus, with the different, hit points of the, Tumblr sexy genre. So, Edmund is very much like, the quintessential, like, you think Tumblr Sexyman
00:20:12:04 - 00:20:33:20
and you think, like, long legs, giant suits. Like you got the bow tie and all. I was debating about doing, like, a little floaty hat, but that was that was too much. And I didn't want to think about that. With Blorbo, I really wanted to pull on like, the very much, like laid back, but still like very attentive, semi-meta character archetypes.
00:20:33:22 - 00:20:55:03
I bully, my friends are just like, this is just Sans. I was really into the Undertale trenches as well. You can tell very quickly by my art style. With Mel, I really wanted to play with, like, being a bit bouncy. Still like the very much like, the people that are into, like, Breaking Bad,
00:20:55:03 - 00:21:17:03
I have a feeling really like, will, like, connect to Mel. I partially based some of, like, her, music taste and, like, a lot of, like, my inspirations for him, off of, like, some of my friends who, like, fall into that category a little bit. And then Lady Dimitrescu, Val, phenomenal. Sometimes you just need a big woman that'll hit you at a hammer.
00:21:17:05 - 00:21:17:16
O Stecina (They/He)
Exactly.
00:21:17:18 - 00:21:20:22
Don’t I know it.
00:21:20:24 - 00:21:46:15
Martin (He/Him)
And so, their role, in development, with it is, A, to have people connect to, the ideas of our convention on a much more like, personal level. And so, like, having these characters, like, interact, we have a couple of, like, backlogged comics and stuff, and then we are planning on, like, working with them, on a more interwoven con scale.
00:21:46:15 - 00:21:50:02
But I don't know how much I can talk about that. Until we start getting, like volunteer stuff.
00:21:50:04 - 00:21:51:18
Avis (They/Them)
We’re still kind of figuring that out.
00:21:51:20 - 00:22:02:07
O Stecina (They/He)
A lot of this is still in wait and see territory. But what I'm definitely certain of is that whatever does end up happening will receive Goncharov levels of analysis.
00:22:02:09 - 00:22:04:03
Avis (They/Them)
Oh, I Goncahrov-posted so hard.
00:22:04:05 - 00:22:07:00
Martin (He/Him)
Oh we Gonched like no tomorrow.
00:22:07:02 - 00:22:13:06
Avis (They/Them)
This this is a fun fact, the social media intern hates Goncharov.
00:22:13:07 - 00:22:14:03
Martin (He/Him)
Wait really? I didn't know that.
00:22:14:05 - 00:22:15:06
Avis (They/Them)
Oh, loathes it.
00:22:15:06 - 00:22:30:20
O Stecina (They/He)
And you'll be able to hear it straight from the source. A microphone-wielding Toronto Tboy dressed as John Egbert.
00:22:30:22 - 00:22:55:04
There's a discord server that got cobbled together in real time during the chaos of ticket buying, called “Dashcon 2 or Bust”. It's fairly consistently buzzing with chatter about cosplay, arts and crafts, travel and hotel logistics, things to do in Toronto, what everyone had for dinner last night, that sort of thing. At this point, it's up to about 150 people, some with tickets and some watching from the sidelines just getting to know their fellow Tumblr users.
00:22:55:06 - 00:22:59:08
I hopped into a call with some of them to learn more about the server and the people chatting in it.
00:22:59:10 - 00:23:08:11
Discord Speaker 1
So I was scrolling the Dashcon 2 tag after I got my ticket and I found this place and I'm like, you know what? Why don't I join? So I'm here now.
00:23:08:13 - 00:23:18:01
Discord Speaker 2
Yeah. Similar story, I bought my ticket and, in like the chat on the ticket website, they had a link for this, server.
00:23:18:03 - 00:23:38:04
Discord Speaker 3
The tickets went on sale and the website had crashed as soon as they dropped. I'm sure all of us know that it crashed. Very stressful. I was very tenacious about it because that's just how I am. And there was like a little messaging thing in the website where you can talk to other people who got a ticket.
00:23:38:09 - 00:23:58:09
I wasn't the one who initially came up with the discord idea. It was actually Doc, I believe. They mentioned someone, like doing a server and they didn't want to do it. No one else seemed to want to do it, so I ended up making one real quick. It was very barebones, you know, like general channel and like a VC channel.
00:23:58:09 - 00:24:09:06
It's literally just that at first. I was building up the server around everyone coming in, which was fun. I'm only like about four hours away.
00:24:09:12 - 00:24:13:10
Discord Speaker 1
Yeah, I'm about eight hours off. I'm like, coming from Jersey.
00:24:13:14 - 00:24:17:13
Discord Speaker 4
I live in Washington State. So West Coast. Woohoo!
00:24:17:15 - 00:24:25:11
Discord Speaker 5
I'm coming from the UK, so a little, a little far. I just thought it'd be funny. It's like, actually, I can't believe I'm here right now.
00:24:25:11 - 00:24:44:10
Discord Speaker 6
I'm not traveling too far. I'm coming from Detroit. I've gone to Toronto a few times to visit a friend of mine. Honestly, whether or not Dashcon 2 turns out to be fantastic, a dumpster fire, or somewhere in between, like, I'll get to see my friend. So that rules.
00:24:44:12 - 00:24:51:00
Discord Speaker 1
Yeah, honestly, like, even if it sucks, we just gotta be there. I'm so excited for the fight. It's going to.
00:24:51:00 - 00:24:52:09
Discord Speaker 3
Oh, it's going to be awesome.
00:24:52:09 - 00:24:54:13
Discord Speaker 1
It's going to be something at the very least.
00:24:54:15 - 00:25:02:23
Discord Speaker 2
Hoping for like a WWE type of vibe where they both come in from opposite ends. There's the ball pit, there's some smack talk.
00:25:02:23 - 00:25:11:17
Discord Speaker 1
Can you imagine like Teya slamming themuppetjoker into the ground and breaking his nose.
00:25:11:19 - 00:25:13:23
Discord Speaker 4
There won't be piss in the ball pit. There will be blood.
00:25:15:05 - 00:25:18:24
Hell yeah. And still a biohazard.
00:25:18:24 - 00:25:23:07
Discord Speaker 3
They have said that they're doing a, an auction, so.
00:25:23:09 - 00:25:27:09
O Stecina (They/He)
Is there anything that anybody is hoping won't happen?
00:25:27:11 - 00:25:34:02
Discord Speaker 1
Hopefully no trolling, hopefully no threats of violence. And hopefully no one pisses in the ball pit.
00:25:34:04 - 00:25:48:10
Discord Speaker 3
A lot of my worries have already been, like, assuaged just by like, how professional they've been, how they work with all of us and stuff. You know? So I don't really have any fears or like, doubts. Honestly, I'm very optimistic about it.
00:25:48:12 - 00:25:51:15
O Stecina (They/He)
What is the main sell for you on this event?
00:25:51:18 - 00:25:52:21
Discord Speaker 2
Ballpit.
00:25:52:23 - 00:25:56:14
Discord Speaker 3
Of course. You would say fucking ballpit.
00:25:56:16 - 00:26:00:04
Discord Speaker 1
I mean yeah, yeah. Makes sense. The ballpit.
00:26:00:04 - 00:26:17:00
Discord Speaker 3
For me specifically, it's just I've never had many Homestuck in person friends and just going there in cosplay and just meeting a bunch of Homestucks I feel like will be amazing. I've been in that fandom for 11 years, man.
00:26:17:02 - 00:26:48:01
O Stecina (They/He)
But then, I got a DM. Simone, who at that point I had yet to meet, told me that she was very curious about what was going on in my call, and I was absolutely giddy to facilitate my own Gråkappan moment, which is not pronounced grok-shu-pen, Severance fans. And Awosting Falls In Minnewaska State Park is not the tallest waterfall on the planet! So I kept quiet and let Simone hear what the con-goers were discussing and theorizing, on the condition that we would talk about it together afterwards.
00:26:48:03 - 00:27:14:12
Discord Speaker 2
One of the things I want to do as a souvenir is, make a book filled with, like, Dashcon memes and then get, like, Tumblr celebrities to sign my book on, like, memes related to them. I want to tie that into my cosplay somehow. So I don't necessarily want to be a ball pit, but I want to do something that's related to the ball pit, because that's like the iconic Tumblr like image and like what people think of when they think of Dashcon.
00:27:14:16 - 00:27:22:02
Simone (She/Her)
I'm very curious to see how a duel in the ball pit would actually work physically. If they go for a ball pit the size of the original one.
00:27:22:04 - 00:27:32:02
O Stecina (They/He)
You're hearing Simone right now. Co-director of Dashcon 2, interfacing with her public, beginning to sow the seeds of intrigue.
00:27:32:04 - 00:27:34:09
Discord Speaker 1
They’re just going to be tussling.
00:27:34:09 - 00:27:35:14
O Stecina (They/He)
It’s gonna be a little slap fight.
00:27:35:16 - 00:27:39:20
Discord Speaker 3
I’ve been imagining them with like, foam, like swords, or like those
00:27:39:22 - 00:27:40:19
Simone (She/Her)
Like a pool noodle?
00:27:40:19 - 00:27:43:24
Discord Speaker 3
Exactly. Just like whacking each other with them.
00:27:44:01 - 00:27:49:01
Discord Speaker 1
Imagine how much like, foundation is going to be in that thing. Body paint.
00:27:49:03 - 00:27:50:11
Simone (She/Her)
You mean gray foundation?
00:27:50:17 - 00:27:53:09
Discord Speaker 1
Yeah. Gray foundation. Any kind of foundation.
00:27:53:09 - 00:27:56:23
Discord Speaker 3
Hey, we're going to seal, okay? We're going to seal our paint, okay?
00:27:57:00 - 00:28:02:19
Discord Speaker 1
I know, but someone won’t. Someone won't and it's going to be there.
00:28:02:21 - 00:28:09:24
O Stecina (They/He)
It's been very, very wonderful talking to you all. I'll be at the con in July. Come find me with my microphone and come talk to me.
00:28:10:02 - 00:28:11:20
Discord Speaker 3
No, you have to find me.
00:28:11:22 - 00:28:14:07
O Stecina (They/He)
I will. You rest assured I'll find you.
00:28:14:07 - 00:28:17:04
Discord Speaker 1
That’d be so epic.
00:28:17:06 - 00:28:18:01
O Stecina (They/He)
I’ll track you down.
00:28:18:06 - 00:28:18:18
Discord Speaker 3
What have I done?
00:28:18:22 - 00:28:42:23
O Stecina (They/He)
I'm looking forward to meeting you guys in person, eventually. And giving you all big hugs. If that's what you like. Thanks for being here for this. And listen to the podcast when it comes out. Okay. Thank you.
00:28:43:00 - 00:28:43:22
O Stecina (They/He)
Hi.
00:28:43:22 - 00:28:44:19
Simone (She/Her)
Hello!
00:28:44:21 - 00:28:46:20
O Stecina (They/He)
So are you, are you Simone?
00:28:46:22 - 00:28:48:01
Simone (She/Her)
Yes I am.
00:28:48:03 - 00:28:50:01
O Stecina (They/He)
You did a pretty good job at blending in. The mole!
00:28:50:04 - 00:29:09:18
Simone (She/Her)
I didn't want to blend in like, too too hard because I didn't want to feel like I was tricking people. But it was. It's fun. I understand why people like to do this sort of thing. Martin was having the time of his life when he joined the, server. Like, lurking as hard as he could and playing dumb.
00:29:09:18 - 00:29:32:09
I believe, like, pretty much the entire core staff team, give or take a few people, is in the server. Most people just haven't said anything. There's something that just feels very young about the Dashcon 2 or Bust server. I don't know if I'm reading it wrong, or perhaps it's just like optimism reads as like the naivety of youth or something.
00:29:32:11 - 00:29:58:16
But I look at that and the feeling I get is, oh, these are like my ducklings, or these are my little siblings and original Dashcon had a lot of kids who were very intensely interested in just meeting their like, online friends in real life. And I look at the server and I look at the audience we've garnered, and I think I have to make this good for you.
00:29:58:18 - 00:30:17:11
I cannot let you down because for some of you, this is your first convention experience ever. You just haven't had a lot of opportunity to do a thing like this. And you're so excited. I always wanted to make a good product, but now it's doubly important. I have people looking up to me in a very real way.
00:30:17:13 - 00:30:31:24
O Stecina (They/He)
I've met Avis and I've met Martin, and I'm talking to you now like I'm getting to know the team that are working behind the scenes. It's so strange to see the posts from people who just kind of assume that it's being thrown by this sort of omnipotent force.
00:30:32:01 - 00:30:48:14
Simone (She/Her)
Mhm. Cuz like, I totally understand it. Because if you didn't know me, yeah, that's how you would read things. People have insane assumptions about us, and we're inclined to just let them do their thing. There's no point in correcting every little guy, because why would you want to bother with that?
00:30:48:18 - 00:30:49:02
O Stecina (They/He)
Yeah.
00:30:49:02 - 00:30:52:09
Simone (She/Her)
Responding to what I heard in call, aw, it was so sweet.
00:30:52:11 - 00:31:07:19
I'm not too worried about crowding. That's something that we've been very aware of. So we're trying to schedule a lot of interesting things happening at the same time to subdivide so people aren't getting overloaded. We understand that a lot of our audience base is divergent.
00:31:07:19 - 00:31:08:01
O Stecina (They/He)
Yeah.
00:31:08:02 - 00:31:13:19
Simone (She/Her)
Honestly, most of our staff are neurodivergent as well. We are going to have a low sensory room.
00:31:13:19 - 00:31:34:01
So it's it's something that we we've thought about because I've, I've been to quite a few conventions. So I, I know what works and what doesn't. Very concerned about weather since I know that a lot of people are going to be showing up to the JCCC without having a ticket, just to kind of have a exist outside block party style.
00:31:34:01 - 00:31:53:00
O Stecina (They/He)
It's something that I do expect. So watch yourselves. It's July. We will have free water because please bros, don't, don't get sunstroke, don't get heatstroke. Please look after yourselves. Like where we want to have a, like a like on our plan your visit site to be like, okay, here's your here's your to do list. Here's your kit.
00:31:53:00 - 00:31:56:23
Simone (She/Her)
Bring water, bring food, store it somewhere. Bring sunscreen.
00:31:56:23 - 00:31:57:11
O Stecina (They/He)
Yeah.
00:31:57:13 - 00:32:03:11
Simone (She/Her)
There's the concern of trolls. Yeah I, I'm not actually as concerned about people pissing in the ball pit as you might expect.
00:32:03:11 - 00:32:05:23
O Stecina (They/He)
Yeah I think people talk a big game, but they would not.
00:32:06:00 - 00:32:11:19
Simone (She/Her)
People talk a big game, but it's you know, you have to know that if you do that, you're ruining everyone else's fun.
00:32:11:21 - 00:32:12:03
O Stecina (They/He)
Yeah.
00:32:12:03 - 00:32:21:24
Simone (She/Her)
And while you might get 15 minutes of internet fame, you have to pay us $1,000. And I'm not letting you get away from that. Not because I want the money. The money was not the important part.
00:32:21:24 - 00:32:34:15
The money would just go to, like, cleaning costs because we're renting stuff. We're having some very close, trusted volunteers on anti-piss patrol. There, there are people that are actually going to be watching the ballpit just to make sure people are safe. But also like,
00:32:34:16 - 00:32:35:20
O Stecina (They/He)
That's, that's good.
00:32:35:22 - 00:32:37:11
Simone (She/Her)
You, you're not getting away with this.
00:32:37:11 - 00:32:39:19
O Stecina (They/He)
Yeah.
00:32:39:21 - 00:33:05:06
At the time of this little Discord call, the Dashcon Trials were in full swing. It was an online fan led competition to distribute a highly coveted, accidentally purchased extra ticket to the most determined Dashcon Enjoyer. Throughout the month of March, people applied and competed in trials of the mind, the body and the spirit. And then there was the grand finale, a Tumblr lore themed jeopardy game amongst the finalists.
00:33:05:08 - 00:33:10:04
You may be hearing from some of them later because they're all going to be at Dashcon 2.
00:33:10:04 - 00:33:39:18
Simone (She/Her)
That was so funny. The second one was a minecraft parkour challenge, and they recreated the facade outside of the JCCC. And then there was a ball pit on top of it, and then you had to climb out of the ball pit in order to reach the top in this parkour challenge. And just seeing someone who undoubtedly had to spend so many hours just staring at like the seven photos of that building that exist online to make this oh, it's it's it's wonderful.
00:33:39:18 - 00:33:54:09
It's just I, I, I love everybody who participated in that. It's so sweet. I guess I can, I can mention this because it'll come out soon. We're, all three winners are going.
00:33:54:11 - 00:33:56:01
O Stecina (They/He)
That's so awesome.
00:33:56:01 - 00:34:19:09
Simone (She/Her)
They're not competing for one ticket. They're competing for three. We we struck up a kind of, like, a bargain with the person who's created the trials. Because we are using their Kahoot subscription that they paid 50 bucks for. Honestly, it came out to exactly the right amount, which it's like, okay, you lend us the subscription, we'll let you a Dashcon tickets’ worth of subscription, which is two.
00:34:19:11 - 00:34:26:17
O Stecina (They/He)
And before I left the call, I asked Simone if there was anything that she wanted the listeners of this podcast to especially know.
00:34:26:19 - 00:34:52:05
Simone (She/Her)
We want you to have fun. That's that's why we're doing it. We charge money because we kind of have to to pay for our costs. We, we’re doing this truly, because it would be a really fun thing to do, and I know we can do it.
00:34:52:07 - 00:35:16:19
O Stecina (They/He)
As of the point of recording this episode, Wednesday, April 16th, 2025, one day before the assignment is due and 79 days before the convention, here is what we know about Dashcon 2, or at least what I've been allowed to publicly share. A lot of this information comes from the Dashcon 2 Substack page. Though tickets are completely sold out for the physical event, many aspects of Dashcon 2 will be live streamed through Virtual Dashcon.
00:35:16:21 - 00:35:37:16
Tickets for this are estimated to cost half the price of the physical tickets, so $17.50 Canadian, with 15% of each ticket going toward the Cancer Society fundraiser, and the duel between themuppetjoker and Strange Aeons will be professionally recorded. Volunteer applications are released now, and signing up for a four hour shift will get you free access to the rest of the convention.
00:35:37:16 - 00:36:01:06
So if you missed your shot on actual ticketing day, that's another avenue you can go down to be there in person. Volunteers have to be older than 14 and virtual positions are getting announced later. A full schedule or a full list of vendors and guests isn't available yet, but we've been given some hints. Obviously, there will be the duel, but recently Dashcon 2’s version of Tumblr Prom was announced, and it's fittingly ballroom dancing themed.
00:36:01:08 - 00:36:20:05
The complete theme of Dashcon 2 was also announced: “A Royal Ball.” With that announcement came a reveal of a panel from The Burnt Courthouse where they're actually going to teach you how to ballroom dance. I'm really looking forward to the playlist because it's going to be absolute chaos, and there's a real chance that it might contain All I want for Christmas Is You.
00:36:20:05 - 00:36:37:18
Their Tumblr will eventually have a place where you can vote songs into the playlist, and it'll be public on Spotify, so you can subject your friends to it forevermore. If you saw anything about Dashcon On The Lawn, it's been transformed into an official, not on the lawn panel, where they'll be screening a YouTube series made by a fan called Bloody Heartss.
00:36:37:18 - 00:36:57:06
That's with two S's. We've also been told that there will be some drag performances, and there was a call for local drag performers. And as far as guests go, Lochlan O’Neil of OG Dashcon will be there giving a panel called “Rabid and Loving! Intro to All Things Raccoon.” There will not be any live raccoons at said panel, although they can be found basically all throughout Toronto anyways.
00:36:57:06 - 00:37:24:05
“uncarley” of YouTube video essay and Girl Historian Podcast fame will also be there. An email went out to people subscribed to the mailing list on April 10th, addressing the potential problems that could arise for people crossing the US Canada border. They've ensured that refunds will always be available. And if things really do go south down south, Dashcon 2 could potentially be rescheduled to July 5th, 2026, but Virtual Dashcon would still be happening this July regardless.
00:37:24:07 - 00:37:45:01
Obviously there are a lot of people who are coming to Dashcon 2 from America, and a great deal of those people have targets on their backs with the current administration and their complete disregard for the constitutional right of due process. Americans, please keep your wits about you and make sure that you are prepared with all of the things that you need to smoothly cross the border.
00:37:45:03 - 00:38:07:21
Just popping in again from April 25th, to add a few more updates because things keep getting announced. Maps and schedules are going to be getting released on the Dashcon 2 website starting in May, but we have two new confirmed activities: a cosplay catwalk competition which opens up for registration July 4th, the day before the convention, and a magical idol show in collaboration with Toronto Tenshi.
00:38:07:23 - 00:38:35:03
LVL UP Games, which is a board game cafe in nearby Mississauga, is also hosting an all day board games room. It's BYoD, bring your own dice, but they provide the tables for all of your one shots and board game expeditions. If for whatever reason, you can't go to IRL Dashcon anymore and you need to sell or transfer your ticket, be aware that if the organizers find out you're selling your ticket for above retail price, you risk getting that ticket straight up canceled.
00:38:35:05 - 00:38:55:00
The team is trying to crack down on scalpers. So, in the words of our iconic TTC lady, if you see something, say something. If you signed up to have a wristband mailed to you when you got your ticket, whoever you give your ticket to will need that wristband, and lost ones won't be replaced. So keep a good eye on that sucker because it's basically your wearable ticket.
00:38:55:02 - 00:39:15:09
Wristbands are getting mailed out at the beginning of June, giving you plenty of time to get yours, even with the Canada Post strikes happening right now. But if you need to change the address that a wristband is mailed to, send an email to registration@dashcontwo.com before the end of May. If you didn't sign up to have the wristband mailed to you, then you'll just pick it up at the registration desk day-of using the QR code on your ticket.
00:39:15:14 - 00:39:40:05
But you have to wear the wristband all the time, so keep that in mind when designing your cosplays. As time goes on, we will be learning more about what Dashcon 2 is actually going to look like, and I'll be doing my best to try and relay that information to you, with my own personal style and flair, as it comes up. I expect to release episode 2 in June, episode 3 at the start of July, and a few more with all of the stuff that I managed to gather at the con itself.
00:39:40:07 - 00:40:01:19
If you're participating in Dashcon 2 in some way and you'd like to be on the show, send me a message at dashcon2podcast, rhat's the number 2, on Tumblr, through the form on the show's website, dashcon2podcast.com, or by sending an email to o@dashcon2podcast.com. I appreciate you sticking around to listen, even if you think that this whole thing is a scam.
00:40:01:21 - 00:40:21:10
Virtual Dashcon may need to charge money to keep the lights on, but this podcast remains free and all that I ask is that you are niceys to me at the actual event and in my askbox. As an additional bit of self promo, my thesis project for University, Soundscapes of Self, is available for streaming on most major podcasting platforms and YouTube.
00:40:21:12 - 00:40:40:04
If you're the type of person that's curious about how the human voice works and all the ways that that interacts with gender stuff, or you just like immersive surround sound, go check it out. There are a lot of very cool trans people in Toronto, and I interviewed over a dozen of them for that project. You can find all of the info at soundscapesofself.online.
00:40:40:06 - 00:40:52:09
I am very, very excited to meet a lot of you in person this July, and to get to know more of my fellow Tumblr freaks through this podcast. The internet and my life would not be the same without you.
00:40:52:11 - 00:41:00:03
Ball pit. Ball pit. Ball pit. Ball pit. Ball pit.
00:41:00:09 - 00:41:05:20
Check it out. I'm in the dash con ball pit.
00:41:05:22 - 00:41:07:07
This is a.
00:41:07:09 - 00:41:08:03
Dashcon.
00:41:08:08 - 00:41:09:19
Podcast.
00:41:09:21 - 00:41:13:16
July 5th. J-C-C-C.
00:41:13:18 - 00:41:15:20
A Ro-yal Ball is the theme.
00:41:15:22 - 00:41:25:24
Dashcon 2. Will it be dope or half-assed? Find out on this podcast.
Episode 2: The Trials
00:00:04:17 - 00:00:30:00
O Stecina (They/He)
Lads. Non lads. Lad-adjacents. Welcome to episode two of this Dashcon 2 Podcast and thank you for returning to “Return to the Ballpit”. Since you last heard me, we've gotten a tentative schedule release, a bunch more panel and guest announcements, Virtual Dashcon tickets went on sale, some merch designs were democratically selected, and mamaposting has expanded exponentially, which I'm very grateful for.
​
00:00:30:02 - 00:00:49:05
It was also Mother's Day, so thank you to mamas everywhere. And if your mom sucks, then I'm your mom now. Your transmasc mom. Don't think about it too hard. I also now have confirmation that Teya, the Strangest of Aeons, has listened to my show, because she's going to be on it, as is The Croaker. Next episode.
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00:00:49:07 - 00:01:09:09
Patience. She also name dropped the podcast in a recent video., so if you're coming from that, Hiiii! Hey.yyy! Hiiii! I'm O, just like the letter, and I am sorry that it's taken me more than a month to put out this episode. I am trying to learn how to program geospatial audio experiences with the motion tracking API on AirPods, and it is difficult.
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00:01:09:11 - 00:01:33:01
But I also am coming to you from the studios at Toronto Metropolitan University, the university that I have graduated from, but now possess an office within that has all of the keys to the studios. Those fools, what do they think they're doing? Letting somebody implement the techniques they learned in their program in a semiprofessional self-starter setting, using studios that remain largely empty over the summer? Madness!
​
00:01:33:03 - 00:02:05:22
Okay, enough about me. You're here to hear the hot, juicy gossip about Dashcon. Peek behind the curtain of the circus tent and see some clowns applying their greasepaint, and I shall indulge ye. This month I talked to the people behind the Dashcon Trials, including the three people who will be at Dashcon 2 because they proved themselves on the Trials stage and because Doc, master of spending money in pursuit of the bit, bought the Kahoot subscription that was used for Trial 1 and will also be used for My Immortal Kahoot to close out Dashcon. You will also get to meet Doc today.
​
00:02:05:24 - 00:02:23:01
In my mind, the beauty of Dashcon is its ability to bring weirdos together. The people behind the trials met in the Simpli Events chat for ticket holders and through pure gumption, organized and executed a whole-ass competition. And now they're planning to meet up in meatspace at Dashcon as the best of friends.
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00:02:23:03 - 00:02:34:05
In my opinion, their organizational skills were also quite impressive. The three finalists: Ferret, Foggy, and Dotty, were all at one point just Tumblr users with a dream.
​
00:02:34:07 - 00:02:40:24
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
Hi, I'm Ferret. I am the Champion of Mind from the Dashcon Trials.
​
00:02:41:01 - 00:02:49:20
Foggy (Its/Her)
You can just call me Foggy. That’s my name. Trial of the Body was this Minecraft parkour course, I just like climbing shit in Minecraft.
​
00:02:49:21 - 00:03:12:15
Dotty (She/Her)
The whole experience of the Trials is still so surreal to me, especially since I, like, went in with like, no faith in my ability to like, win it because I just think of things statistically. Life is like a bell curve, most of the time you're usually near the middle. I'm not going to be that guy. There's going to be someone who's more terminally online than I am, but been on Tumblr since, the the original heyday of 2012.
​
00:03:12:16 - 00:03:30:11
I wasn't like at the original Dashcon, but I was there for the blow up on Tumblr at the time, and funnily enough, I was going to art day camp. The cartooning people were all like Tumblrinas, fellow Tumblrinas, and we would come in in the morning and just like chat about like whatever the hell was going on on Tumblr.
​
00:03:30:13 - 00:03:56:24
I remember being obsessed with like, Komaeda from Danganronpa at the time. He was, he was my wife, little, little 15 year old Dotty was obsessed with him. I, my peers were into Homestuck, and I believe one of them said to me, I think you would like Eridan. And I didn't know what that meant, but I was pretty sure it was an insult. As more and more people just, you know, continue to drop Tumblr, I, I, you know, migrated a little bit to other social medias, but I just like can't get rid of it because it's like it's like my history, you know.
​
00:03:57:01 - 00:04:12:16
So as a result, like I ended up, you know, accumulating a lot of just, you know, the ancient lore. And I did not know that there were only 500 tickets. Otherwise I probably would have been in that queue. Like, I'm kind of glad that I didn't, though, because, you know, now I am a little bit known.
​
00:04:12:18 - 00:04:22:21
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
I got up three hours earlier than I usually do to try to buy tickets, and by the time I finished filling in all of my credit card information, they were sold out.
​
00:04:23:01 - 00:04:29:16
My mom was actually there helping me with the credit card things, and she said that she could, like, tell that the blood drained from my face.
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00:04:29:18 - 00:04:48:06
Foggy (Its/Her)
Day of like, tickets being released. I tried to buy them, but I did not think that they would sell out as fast as they did. So I didn't like really wake up early for it or anything, right? So I did miss all of that. And I was like, damn.
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00:04:48:08 - 00:05:10:14
Dotty (She/Her)
I saw Doc’s posts about like, you know, the trials. And I was like, oh, this, this is interesting. I guess I'll give it a shot. I enrolled in like, the the Mind one and the Spirit one because I, the Body one was all about Minecraft and I don't know Minecraft. I remember going in after work and just like, you know, trying to make myself, like, completely zen and not get too excited and just going, you know, don't make any funny jokes.
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00:05:10:14 - 00:05:43:23
Just focus on the knowledge and focus on clicking as fast as possible. I was doing like surprisingly well and I was like, oh my God. But I, I was like, don't get hopeful, the second you get hopeful is when your hopes are quashed. Near like the very end. I remember the one, the question that finally put me enough, enough points, behind, like the person who ultimately won that trial, Ferret. It was a question about like, the Sonic-For-Real-Justice blog. And that particularly annoyed me because that was a piece of Tumblr lore that I thought I knew intimately. But I didn't go with my first guess on the question. And so I blew it, and I was like, “Nooooo”
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00:05:44:00 - 00:06:07:06
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
Dotty was at the top of the leaderboard, like the entire time. And I just came from behind, got on like the last few questions, it's very important to know that I was not guaranteed to win. I'm not actually that smart with this stuff. Something that you wouldn't get from just being at the Trials was I was talking to myself out loud the entire time. I feel sorry for my neighbors.
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00:06:07:06 - 00:06:37:11
Foggy (Its/Her)
I used to do, like, Hypixel housing parkour courses a lot. I've downloaded a couple like parkour adventure maps. Just like to do while like listening to a podcast or something. I'm pretty good at parkour. Did not realize that I’d blitz everyone immediately. I was terrified the entire time. I was scared that everyone else who applied were super confident in their Minecraft abilities. I thought I was going to have some really tough competition.
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00:06:37:13 - 00:07:27:01
Dotty (She/Her)
The second one, that I enrolled in was the Spirit one, which is a Quiplash game. And my experience with Quiplash is playing it with my, with my real life friends and never winning. Maybe because my sense of humor is like 70 to 80% Tumblr. And so thankfully I found the right audience. I remember, like writing down before, like just just as a warm up, like a bunch of, like, stupid Tumblr keywords that to, you know, to just like, insert into my answers like, uhhh Plinko Horse! Walter White! You know, just rapid fire. Just, dududu it was like Mad Libs. And I. And I managed to to cinch that, you know, again, by pure luck. And I was like, okay, like my chance has been up to, like, one third, you know, the next week we had our finals and it was Fandom Jeopardy! And I grew up with my parents like watching Jeopardy and being okay with it.
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00:07:27:03 - 00:07:54:17
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
Going into the Jeopardy Final Trial, one important thing to know about me is I hate Jeopardy with a burning passion. I hate it, and everything it stands for it just I don't know exactly what it is about it, but like, I will make my family change the channel if they are watching it. Something about how the questions are phrased as though they're the answers to questions and then you need to answer with the question, even though, like nobody would answer a question like, “Who is Albert Einstein” with obscure trivia about him?
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00:07:54:22 - 00:08:15:24
Like, Kahoot, I’m pretty good at. I can handle those, because it's multiple choice and you just click a button. But if I need to answer out loud, all the information leaves my brain, meaning that I failed every single Homestuck question there. I thought that neither of the other competitors were Homestucks, so obviously I would get the whole category to myself.
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00:08:16:04 - 00:08:20:00
Turns out I don't know anything about Homestuck either, despite having read the whole thing.
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00:08:20:02 - 00:08:43:11
Dotty (She/Her)
I was decent enough with like some of the knowledge, but some of the categories I didn't know anything about. I don't know anything about podcasts. I don't know anything about Homestuck. but like, thankfully I did know enough about, like some of the categories and I got enough of a combo going because, like, I realized pretty quickly the strategy in Jeopardy is like, if you have a lead, don't, like, answer questions that you're not absolutely confident about because you will, like lose points and lose that lead.
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00:08:43:13 - 00:08:51:06
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
You know, better to let other people just blow their questions. And so that was basically my strat. And I like cinched it. And I was like, oh my God!
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00:08:51:11 - 00:09:17:17
Foggy (Its/Her)
I resigned myself like halfway through. Like, I'm not winning this. I'm not getting a ticket. Whatever. I'll just I'll be funny about it and get everything wrong on purpose. Sure. Then the Spirit of Dashcon came floating in and said that all of the finalists would be getting tickets. I just didn't believe it at first. I could barely contain my excitement after I got off the call.
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00:09:17:19 - 00:09:29:14
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Dotty is the winner of the Dashcon Trials! Whoa whoa whoa, hang on, hang on. Guys guys guys guys guys guys, no. Hang on, I'm getting an interception right now. I gotta, hang on.
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00:09:29:16 - 00:09:31:00
Lord Jason (He/They)
Something is happening.
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00:09:31:02 - 00:09:32:01
Roachmilk (They/Them)
Oh, God. What's happening?
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00:09:32:07 - 00:09:32:21
Doc (Any Pronouns)
What's going on?
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00:09:32:21 - 00:09:35:05
Roachmilk (They/Them)
I'm picking up radio signals with my antennae.
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00:09:35:07 - 00:09:53:03
Spirit of Dashcon/Simone (She/Her)
As the Spirit of Dashcon 2, made manifest for one night only. I was allowed by your gracious leader to make a short speech. But first, my congratulations. to you, Dotty. Although I have not personally been, as you see me, at every trial I have lurked, many of us have lurked. There might be more of us in chat than you would think.
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00:09:53:05 - 00:09:53:18
Lord Jason (He/They)
Oh, God.
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00:09:53:22 - 00:10:15:24
Spirit of Dashcon/Simone (She/Her)
But the thing is, anyone who would create Dashcon 2 is not of this world. And the thing about things from beyond the veil is that they love to make a deal. I was approached by one among you with a wager: access to the Kahoot subscription in exchange for what I would like you to look under your seats and find, two extra tickets to Dashcon 2. I invite all three of you.
00:10:16:03 - 00:10:18:14
Doc (Any Pronouns)
HAHAHAHA!
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00:10:18:16 - 00:10:19:20
Lord Jason (He/They)
You get to go to Dashcon!
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00:10:19:20 - 00:10:24:22
Doc (Any Pronouns)
You’re going to Dashcon! You're going to Dashcon! You're going to Dashcon!
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00:10:24:24 - 00:10:27:08
Lord Jason (He/They)
Congratulations.
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00:10:27:10 - 00:10:30:07
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I just did this to fuck with you all. I know I knew this would happen.
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00:10:30:09 - 00:10:39:07
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
Would it be weird if I made us friendship bracelets based on this? Mind, Body, and Spirit friendship bracelets. I'm. I'm making us Mind, Body and Spirit friendship bracelets.
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00:10:39:07 - 00:10:40:04
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Aww
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00:10:40:06 - 00:10:40:22
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
DM me your favourite colours.
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00:10:40:22 - 00:10:48:07
Roachmilk (They/Them)
That’s so cute. Cuz friendship is magic.
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00:10:48:09 - 00:11:01:11
Dotty (She/Her)
I remember feeling really bittersweet about winning, because I feel like I was in my contestants’ place of getting that far only to, like, be crushed at the very end, I would have felt kind of cheated out of my time and everything. So I was, I, I felt really bad for them and I wanted them to go too. So I was just like, so happy.
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00:11:01:11 - 00:11:16:00
But I want to say it was a really good play by Doc, because I remember before the Final Trial, which he kept a complete secret until the day of, he was like playing it up. It's just like, you know, this is going to be absolutely evil. This is diabolical. You guys are not going to have fun. This is going to this is going to crush you guys.
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00:11:16:02 - 00:11:23:11
And just to pull that fast one on us of like “ooo! Surprise!” that, that, very masterfully played, like.
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00:11:23:13 - 00:11:26:22
O Stecina (They/He)
And honestly the whole team was full of dreamers. Let's meet em.
​
00:11:26:24 - 00:11:35:17
[Musical Interlude]
00:11:35:19 - 00:11:46:07
Doc (Any Pronouns)
All right I am Doc. I'm a being of, ambiguous gender. And I'm here to talk about my involvement with the Dashcon 2 Trials.
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00:11:46:09 - 00:11:52:21
Cosmic (Any Pronouns)
I’m Cosmic. I am also here to talk about my involvement in the Dashcon 2 Trials.
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00:11:52:21 - 00:12:00:24
Lord Jason (He/They)
I'm Lord Jason here to talk about my involvement, which is clout chasing right now. No, Cut that out. Cut that out.
​
00:12:01:04 - 00:12:11:15
Roachmilk (They/Them)
I'm Ari or Roachmilk. Or also sometimes known as Kipmonstr online. I'm one of the the Trial Lords, and my pronouns are they/them.
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00:12:11:17 - 00:12:22:18
Ruby (She/Her)
Hiya! I am Ruby, but I also go by Strawberry Witch but Ruby's fine. I'm here to talk about my involvement with the Trials. It sounds like I'm confessing to a crime.
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00:12:22:20 - 00:12:24:19
Doc (Any Pronouns)
My name is Doc, and I'm an alcoholic.
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00:12:24:21 - 00:12:26:19
O Stecina (They/He)
Where are you on the night of--
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00:12:26:21 - 00:12:30:06
Lord Jason (He/They)
Hi, Doc.
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00:12:30:08 - 00:12:40:16
O Stecina (They/He)
Oh, dip. Is that Discord Speaker 3 and 5? Yep. Lord Jason is the one who made the Dashcon 2 or Bust discord, for those of you having a Pepe Silvia moment at home.
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00:12:40:16 - 00:12:58:02
Doc (Any Pronouns)
So me and my buddy who isn't here, we were planning to go to Dashcon 2, and we still are. I was a bit, you know, overzealous. What happened was I was fucking rushing out of my mind to buy the ticket. The site crashed literally as I entered the purchase, so it was like loading for a bit.
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00:12:58:04 - 00:13:20:22
I was like, Holy shit, I still need to buy it. So I, I bought a second one on accident. I wanted to make this very clear. This was done on accident. I renounce scalping as a as an act. So there is like a lot of people, I think, in Jason’s server who were like, “I'll pay double, triple” to a point where like the actual owners of the con had to be like, “Hey, don't resell to a degree where you're making a profit.”
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00:13:20:24 - 00:13:29:08
O Stecina (They/He)
Doc is an excellent archeologist and graciously narrated their own posts here, taking us through the timeline of Trials-posting.
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00:13:29:10 - 00:13:52:08
Doc (Any Pronouns)
February 22nd, 2025 at 10:14 a.m. EST. “Guys, I bought two tickets on accident. I don't know what to do lol.” Some guy responds “Sell or refund the other one.” “Yeah.” “Yeah, pretty much.” “I'm probably going to refund it?” Question mark. “I hate scalpers man,” I say. “My hands are legit shaking now I have fucking TWO” Emphasized, capitalized, “TWO on accident. ”
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00:13:52:10 - 00:14:19:07
“Can someone figure out the logistics of if I was to give it away or something? I don't want to make any fuck-ass money over this though. I feel like I just stole food from a little baby orphan's mouth,” I say. Okay. And then after a bit of conversation, I go, “What if I made people go through a series of riddles and trials to get the ticket? Can we work out the logistics of that?” And then I send a GIF of, fucking from Monty Python. The “What is your name?”
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00:14:19:09 - 00:14:19:20
O Stecina (They/He)
Ah yes, I see.
​
00:14:19:21 - 00:14:20:06
Doc (Any Pronouns)
“What is your--”
​
00:14:20:06 - 00:14:21:21
Ruby (She/Her)
“What is your favourite colour?”
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00:14:21:24 - 00:14:27:14
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I say “I have the opportunity to do something really funny.” And then that's kind of how it spiraled.
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00:14:27:14 - 00:14:33:18
Lord Jason (He/They)
I was just like, watching shit go down in the chat. Doc made the server for it, and I joined.
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00:14:33:22 - 00:14:44:15
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Because, like, my whole coordinating process is like, okay, I'm not a historian on that regard. I'm mostly a observer. I'm a connoisseur, but I'm not directly involved with the culture. I need some consultants, so.
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00:14:44:18 - 00:14:59:07
Lord Jason (He/They)
Yeah. You really wanted some people who like, knew like Tumblr history and like fandom history because we were kind of brainstorming at that point on like what exactly the trials are going to be. And there was like a lot of ideas thrown around.
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00:14:59:09 - 00:15:05:20
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I think I just said, “Solve my riddles three” was the first thing that I came up with. It was the name I put on for the Tumblr.
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00:15:05:22 - 00:15:13:10
Ruby (She/Her)
And it was it was around the time you were doing the encrypted messages on Tumblr that I think we started talking about the Mind/Body/Spirit.
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00:15:13:11 - 00:15:32:17
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Yeah, yeah, let's just do some cryptic shit. To give you some context on what that is. That is a reference to Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yeah, they play CharDee MacDennis and it comes in three stages, which are Mind, Body, and Spirit. That's a funny reference. So I did that. On February 22nd. I sent an email to the Dashcon 2 inquiries email.
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00:15:32:23 - 00:15:37:06
They never responded, but I did to eventually talk to them about it. I'll read it off for you guys.
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00:15:37:06 - 00:15:38:13
O Stecina (They/He)
Please do.
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00:15:38:15 - 00:15:58:21
Doc (Any Pronouns)
“Hey guys, thanks for hosting Dashcon 2. I'm very excited to go. However, I accidentally purchased an extra ticket. I'm not asking for a refund, I'm instead asking for your blessing to produce a series of trials, what that entails is to be determined, in which individuals will have to compete in order to receive my spare ticket for free to attend this July 5th.
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00:15:58:23 - 00:16:15:11
I do not wish to resell this as it was my mistake, and I understand there is high demand from various people who are unable to attend. I hope that you will allow me to pursue this as a means of giving back to the community. If you have any questions, concerns, or ideas regarding logistics of this, please respond to my email as soon as you are able to.
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00:16:15:15 - 00:16:20:18
I know you guys have a lot on your plate right now, so I'm wishing you the best. Once again, thanks. Doc.”
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00:16:20:19 - 00:16:21:17
O Stecina (They/He)
That’s so formal!
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00:16:21:18 - 00:16:23:06
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I didn't want to scare them.
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00:16:23:08 - 00:16:23:21
O Stecina (They/He)
That's fair.
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00:16:23:22 - 00:16:24:23
Lord Jason (He/They)
That's beautiful.
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00:16:25:00 - 00:16:28:18
Doc (Any Pronouns)
So I went for a very different tone compared to the Tumblr blog.
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00:16:28:20 - 00:16:46:10
Lord Jason (He/They)
Doc was the one who came up with the Kahoot, and then immediately after, Ruby was like, we could do several quizzes increasing in difficulty, and I was like maybe three rounds in all. And then Doc came up with the initial plan of three trials, followed by one final trial.
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00:16:46:12 - 00:16:46:20
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Right.
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00:16:47:01 - 00:17:02:22
Lord Jason (He/They)
So everyone who wins the trial gets to compete the final one, Trials will be varied in skill, quiz, game, whatever. The three final contestants will, compete to win the ticket. So like the initial idea for it is pretty much what we did, honestly.
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00:17:03:02 - 00:17:23:04
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I started by making a Tumblr account, you know, just to get it out to the community. It's not a well followed Tumblr, but it has like 37 notes on this. On this main one. I'm going to read it off now. A dramatic reading. “Greetings contestants! Here awaits a competition most foul for those disenfranchized with face in scowl.
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00:17:23:08 - 00:17:42:22
You wish to journey to Dashcon the sequel. Come along and compete in a challenge most equal The site, it crashed. I overslept. I've heard your cries, the tears you've wept. Do not so anguish, for I have a spare. For I overbought and must set things fair. Compete in my Trials three and win your prize, a ticket for free.”
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00:17:43:00 - 00:18:19:10
That was my poem. I tried to keep my posts on this chat in iambic pentameter, which I don't think I followed completely at all. I started just going on Tumblr and looking up. “Oh, guys, you know, I'm so sad I can't go to Dashcon. You see the site crashed” like stuff like people like, “Any ticket resellers?” Like, “Fuck, I didn't get to buy it. Oh, shit. Please. Come on. I'm right here. I'll give you all of my money.” Reblogging the post saying “Compete in my Trials!” And that's kind of how I accumulated most of the server population. That and also going on Jason’s server.
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00:18:19:10 - 00:18:31:01
Lord Jason (He/They)
Yeah, literally any time someone would go into the ticket exchange channel to like be like, “is there anyone who's selling tickets?” Doc would come in being like. “Compete in my Trials!”
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00:18:31:01 - 00:19:06:02
Doc (Any Pronouns)
What is fucked up about this is that the Muppet Joker was our first real follower to the account, and I don't know why. He really sent me this shit. “What do your trials entail? I have no need for any ticket, but I'm intrigued by your sick and twisted mind.” And then I respond, “Hello. Proud to be in cahoots with the likes of you. These trials shall be perilous and sick. I cannot shed light on what they will be right now,” because I obviously didn't know what the fuck I was doing, “for the planning is premature. But soon, my dear Croaker, shall you see what this campaign challenge truly entails.
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00:19:06:04 - 00:19:15:18
Its very nature is shrouded in mystery.” And then Muppet Joker responds, “I see. I will stay tuned. It's almost like The Muppet Show, but even more fucked up and evil. I like it,”
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00:19:15:22 - 00:19:29:17
Roachmilk (They/Them)
He said “I am indeed interested in the trial. Will they be taking place in the discord server?” And I gave him like the details. And then he said, “I will try to be in attendance. I've already joined the discord server, but alas. I'm a very busy Muppet.”
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00:19:29:19 - 00:19:38:24
Doc (Any Pronouns)
So somebody in there is secretly the Muppet Joker. That's that's confirmation from the, right from the frog's mouth.
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00:19:39:01 - 00:19:54:22
I think you pinged the server like, “hey, DM Doc for stuff if you want to join.” And then I was like “Hi there. Are you proficient in the topics of fandom knowledge, Tumblr centric, Tumblr lore, and, and do you own a copy of Minecraft?”
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00:19:54:24 - 00:20:07:17
Which is probably the weirdest question to ask on this, but it was very relevant, even though I was literally the only one who worked on Minecraft the whole time. We start with Kahoot, and I think Roach had like, just made it look like just by themselves, right?
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00:20:07:20 - 00:20:10:06
Roachmilk (They/Them)
There was like ideas of stuff to put in the Kahoot.
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00:20:10:07 - 00:20:17:03
Lord Jason (He/They)
Added a bunch of ideas and like just just a wall of text of just like references.
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00:20:17:06 - 00:20:21:14
Roachmilk (They/Them)
I couldn't remember some of them. So I would just look at the list and I'm like, “Pink chicken nugget slime?”
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00:20:21:14 - 00:20:26:17
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Trial 1 went very smooth. The winner of that was Ferret.
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00:20:26:19 - 00:20:39:23
Cosmic (Any Pronouns)
After each of the trials, the winner was brought up on the stage to give a victory speech and Ferret’s speech was honestly moving.
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00:20:39:24 - 00:20:42:01
Roachmilk (They/Them)
Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
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00:20:42:03 - 00:20:44:22
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
Hi! Oh! Okay.
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00:20:44:23 - 00:20:45:05
Lord Jason (He/They)
Welcome.
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00:20:45:05 - 00:20:58:11
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
I'm actually shaking right now. I went through a whole character arc. I was right at the top of the leaderboard on the first question, and then I fell down to 15th and I was like, “oh, there's no chance of me winning.”
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00:20:58:13 - 00:21:01:05
Lord Jason (He/They)
Aw. It was a real underdog tale, huh?
​
00:21:01:05 - 00:21:03:01
Roachmilk (They/Them)
But you made it!
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00:21:03:03 - 00:21:10:02
Ruby (She/Her)
You did it! I have a super important question. If you win, will you be cosplaying?
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00:21:10:08 - 00:21:14:16
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
Okay, I plan on cosplaying as human Bill Cipher.
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00:21:14:18 - 00:21:17:23
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Yeah. Perfect. That's perfect.
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00:21:18:00 - 00:21:43:12
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
And that will serve as my excuse to get a more masculine haircut. Thank you so much for this opportunity. I, like, I really appreciate it. I've been a longtime fan of Death Game manga, and this gave me the opportunity to play out the plot of one of those in a risk free environment. I didn't get my ticket, so I was looking through the Dashcon tag very sadly, and then I saw all the, like “Compete in my Trials!” reblogs.
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00:21:43:14 - 00:21:53:05
Mourning my loss. I was actually the one who sent in the anonymous ask, about how you made my day go from miserable to super great.
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00:21:53:07 - 00:22:04:02
Cosmic (Any Pronouns)
It made me feel as though this was more than just a silly little ha ha meme.
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00:22:04:04 - 00:22:14:00
Doc (Any Pronouns)
In order to actually host a Kahoot game that big, I had to spend 50 fucking dollars on a yearly Kahoot subscription because they don't sell it monthly.
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00:22:14:01 - 00:22:20:23
Lord Jason (He/They)
When Doc told us that, I feel like we collectively lost our shit. Like you spent $50 on what?
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00:22:21:00 - 00:22:24:11
O Stecina (They/He)
So you've invested now, the money for a ticket and the Kahoot.
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00:22:24:12 - 00:22:34:18
Roachmilk (They/Them)
So it wouldn't make any sense if people are like, “Oh, Doc planned this out from the start, like it was on purpose that you bought the extra ticket!” When it's like you're actively losing so much money.
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00:22:34:20 - 00:22:46:15
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Even if I fucking sold the ticket, it would not pay back the $75 I collectively spent both first on the ticket and secondly on the $50 Kahoot subscription.
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00:22:46:17 - 00:22:48:17
Ruby (She/Her)
I know. So real.
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00:22:48:19 - 00:22:53:17
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Body is hard to justify because I think I just really wanted to put people in Minecraft.
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00:22:53:19 - 00:22:54:02
O Stecina (They/He)
That's reasonable.
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00:22:54:03 - 00:23:06:19
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Barely anybody signed up initially. But, it was the first one I had planned, actually. This one was, like I said, my baby. It was., I built the Japanese Canadian Cultural Centre in Minecraft all by my lonesome.
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00:23:06:21 - 00:23:10:24
Lord Jason (He/They)
When I came into that world and I fucking saw that shit, I was like, “Holy fuck, Doc.”
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00:23:11:01 - 00:23:19:20
Ruby (She/Her)
And when Doc was building it like. Like even Doc couldn't get through the course. Which is why when the victor just totally aced it. We were like, “What??”
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00:23:19:22 - 00:23:39:00
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I had, like, this evil fucking glass parkour at the end that was meant to be a victory, like stopgap where like it's a glass parkour that, like, immediately jumps into ice. You're on a path in the woods and you can see above you, pillars of pink glass which jump into ice, which you have to jump from very, I don't know.
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00:23:39:00 - 00:23:45:06
Lord Jason (He/They)
It was so funny to watch doc constantly fall off of it while they were trying to, like, figure it out.
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00:23:46:14 - 00:23:56:07
Cosmic (Any Pronouns)
We were in the call with Doc the entire time that he was making it and it was like a Greek chorus of “They are going to crucify you for this.”
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00:23:56:09 - 00:24:02:19
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I think it was definitely the hardest Trial. except for the person who won, Foggy, who just, I don't know, they're just like, she's just cracked?
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00:24:02:19 - 00:24:04:07
Ruby (She/Her)
It was so crazy.
​
00:24:04:07 - 00:24:08:02
Roachmilk (They/Them)
What did she say again? It was like, “Slow and steady Is cope?”
​
00:24:08:04 - 00:24:09:16
Cosmic (Any Pronouns)
Yeah.
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00:24:09:18 - 00:24:13:06
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Wait, wait, wait. I have a fucking anecdote. Jason, am I allowed to share it?
​
00:24:13:08 - 00:24:17:04
Lord Jason (He/They)
Sure. I don't even know what the anecdote is, but sure.
​
00:24:17:06 - 00:24:23:16
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Okay, so I ping Jason and Jason's partner like, “Hey, can you guys help me build this, right? Because they said that they would.”
​
00:24:23:18 - 00:24:24:11
Ruby (She/Her)
Oh, this!
​
00:24:24:14 - 00:24:25:07
Lord Jason (He/They)
Oh, yeah. This.
​
00:24:25:08 - 00:24:31:21
Doc (Any Pronouns)
And then Jason's partner is like, “Sorry, he's too high at the moment.”
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00:24:31:23 - 00:24:34:02
Ruby (She/Her)
Oh yeah, no Jason was too high for Minecraft.
​
00:24:34:02 - 00:24:38:09
Lord Jason (He/They)
I was too fucking high to play Minecraft, okay? Shut up.
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00:24:38:11 - 00:25:02:01
O Stecina (They/He)
After this interview, the trials team told me that they're all going to be wearing buttons that signify the, quote “Worst thing that we each did as Trial Lords.” Jason’s scarlet letter will be being too high for Minecraft. But I look forward to seeing what crimes the rest will be admitting to.
​
00:25:02:03 - 00:25:20:11
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Cosmic has friends in high places, luckily, so they contacted the accessibility coordinator, right? Then I am not briefed on this whatsoever, at all. This is. This goes completely over my head. I'm not I'm not mentioned whatsoever, which is actually, I actually am glad about because it led to a very funny moment.
​
00:25:20:13 - 00:25:54:01
Lord Jason (He/They)
I get a DM from Dashcon 2’s official discord profile. And they're like. “Hi, Jason! You're the organizer of the Trials, yes? I wanted to get back to you about the tickets thing that you discussed with Haruhi.” I was like. What? I, I'm like, that's that's actually Doc. That is not me. And I and I DM Doc about it. I was like, hey, so. Dashcon 2 messaged me about the tickets. I don't know what it's about, because Cosmic hadn't told anybody.
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00:25:54:03 - 00:26:16:15
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Dashcon 2 official contacted me and was like, “Hey Doc!” and then like, “Hello Dashcon 2 official. Should I be worried?” and they’re like, “Haruhi messaged you a little while ago about the tickets thing you two discussed.” They did not discuss that with me at all. “The team spoke about it and we came to a decision. In short, it's a tentative yes, but we have some caveats.”
​
00:26:16:17 - 00:27:14:09
And then they just confirmed that they have two spare tickets they're going to just give to me, and trust me with to to give away, which is scary. And like I said, there was a silver lining to the Kahoot thing. So they, they agreed that if I give them access to my Kahoot account, which I which I unfortunately spent, $50 on, that they will, they will give me those two tickets to, to give away, moving on to trial three, which I think was the one that I had the least fun at, because a cool thing that Jackbox lets you do for Quiplash is that you get to make your own, like, prompts and stuff. So like, I, like, I just let the team go loose and just made them make like 40, 50 prompts, something like that, for a Dashcon themed Quiplash game. I'm going to say it was not very funny at all. I did not have a good time, from what I remember. I don't want to be mean because I I'm just going to say it, most people there weren't funny.
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00:27:14:11 - 00:27:18:03
Roachmilk (They/Them)
Doc had such a bad time that he straight up left in the middle of it.
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00:27:18:03 - 00:27:21:15
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Someone started talking about horse facts or something. I had to go eat dinner.
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00:27:21:19 - 00:27:26:05
Lord Jason (He/They)
We had to like vamp for like 30 minutes.
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00:27:26:07 - 00:27:33:24
Roachmilk (They/Them)
So we were just talking about horses. I keep getting recommended videos of horses, like “You want your horse to have a good diet, feed them this!”
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00:27:34:01 - 00:27:35:02
Ruby (She/Her)
Still?
​
00:27:35:04 - 00:27:37:12
Roachmilk (They/Them)
I do not own a horse. Yeah, still!
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00:27:37:14 - 00:27:53:20
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I don't blame anybody. You know, I, I contracted Tumblr users to compete in my trials. You know, I got what I paid for. My own oral history of it kind of ends with the final trial, which was very fun. I got the Dashcon 2 team to show up. You know.
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00:27:53:22 - 00:28:01:16
Lord Jason (He/They)
I think the main reason why Jeopardy was such a fucking hot mess at the end, like everything else was like, we have like some issues.
00:28:01:16 - 00:28:03:23
Doc (Any Pronouns)
No they were all hot messes. Like, fuckin,
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00:28:04:02 - 00:28:14:01
Lord Jason (He/They)
But but Jeopardy being the most hot mess out of the four was probably because we already knew that they were going to get the tickets anyway. We're just having fun here.
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00:28:14:04 - 00:28:15:18
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Yeah, so.
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00:28:15:18 - 00:28:17:22
Roachmilk (They/Them)
So we could make it as awful as we wanted.
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00:28:18:01 - 00:28:19:11
Lord Jason (He/They)
Yeah, exactly.
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00:28:19:13 - 00:28:24:18
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I wanted to, you know, keep people on their toes. I wanted to, you know, make them hate me.
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00:28:24:18 - 00:28:28:24
Lord Jason (He/They)
Increasingly, increasingly evil as time went on.
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00:28:29:01 - 00:28:34:09
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I talk about it on the blog. There was a corruption. I became !TrialsDoc, I lost my good soul.
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00:28:34:11 - 00:28:40:06
Ruby (She/Her)
It was funny, though. You guys got to understand, like in the Trial Lords discussion, Doc was not evil.
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00:28:40:08 - 00:28:50:03
Doc (Any Pronouns)
All the questions were very niche. And, the Homestuck ones in particular were, asinine. Me and me and Ruby made those. No, not just you. I know I worked on them too.
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00:28:50:04 - 00:28:55:16
Ruby (She/Her)
They were evil, I know, but I figured someone would get them. Like, if I knew it, somebody else had to know it.
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00:28:55:18 - 00:28:59:12
Lord Jason (He/They)
I've been in the Homestuck fandom for a decade, and I couldn't answer them.
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00:28:59:12 - 00:29:04:21
Ferret (Any Pronouns)
Okay, but like, like, I have a lore book. That I wrote.
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00:29:04:23 - 00:29:19:04
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Ferret kept trying to do Homestuck questions and kept getting, like, knocked in the face. Foggy was like knocked into the negatives, like round 2 of Jeopardy, so the final score for for foggy was -$7,000.
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00:29:19:04 - 00:29:19:18
O Stecina (They/He)
Oh my god!
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00:29:19:20 - 00:29:20:11
Ruby (She/Her)
No!
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00:29:20:17 - 00:29:29:14
Cosmic (Any Pronouns)
After a certain point, Foggy just sort of gave up and started answering stuff like, “Fuck you.”
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00:29:29:16 - 00:29:54:18
O Stecina (They/He)
So in all, the trials were definitely less of a master plan and more of a “Hey, wouldn’t this be funny?” that kept compounding and bringing on new people, new ideas and references that just kept getting more and more obscure. But everyone involved seemed to have a pretty good time putting it together. And Doc has said that if there ends up being a Dashcon 2-2, maybe this one can be ballet themed instead of ballroom dancing themed? They would be open to devising another set of Trials.
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00:29:54:20 - 00:30:11:11
I think that my favorite aspect of all of this was the fact that in very classic Tumblr fashion, the Trials team and the competitors all kind of just stumbled upon each other based on mutual interests and a deep passion for shenanigans. They were very fun to talk to and seeing them all meet up in person is going to be a real treat.
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00:30:11:13 - 00:30:29:23
Doc (Any Pronouns)
We did not know each other at all. We were completely united exclusively by the Trials. Me, Ruby and Jason met on the Simpli Events thing, but after that we just completely were only united by Trials. Like we don't know each other at all. But I will say we are now friends for life united by this joint cause of, competing in Trials.
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00:30:30:00 - 00:30:38:11
Lord Jason (He/They)
I am ever the optimist when it's obvious that something is definitely going to be, you know, great.
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00:30:38:13 - 00:30:42:24
Roachmilk (They/Them)
Chantant wasn't able to make it today, but they also did a lot.
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00:30:43:00 - 00:30:43:16
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Oh, they helped a lot.
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00:30:43:16 - 00:30:45:02
Roachmilk (They/Them)
Another Trial Lord.
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00:30:45:04 - 00:30:57:07
Doc (Any Pronouns)
We could not have done it without Chantant She was very, she was very much so a helper. I think they came up with the ideas of, I think, reading and stuff. They organized the doc. They they helped, you know, organize stuff. They were just a huge help.
00:30:57:11 - 00:31:03:16
O Stecina (They/He)
Chantant couldn't be there for the big group interview, but sent me this adorable little sound bite after the fact to share with you all.
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00:31:03:18 - 00:31:43:00
Chantant (She/Her)
Hello friends! It’s Chantant, the Trial Lord. I did a lot of logistics behind the scenes, like making the Google Sheets or figuring out the time zones for events. It was a blast working with the team. So really a big thank you to Doc and the Trial Lords. If you're looking for me at the convention to chat or trinket trade, I'll be going as a literal Tumblrina. So I'll be wearing a blue ballet tutu and corset. Although if I don't finish that cosplay in time, I'll just go as like Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, so I'll just wear a lot of mesh instead. It was an honor to have been part of this little piece of Tumblr history, and I'll see you all at the convention.
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00:31:43:02 - 00:31:46:05
O Stecina (They/He)
Dotty also sent me a little cosplay update.
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00:31:46:07 - 00:31:57:20
Dotty (She/Her)
If you would like to meet your Dashcon Trials first place champion, I'll be cosplaying humanized Tumblr mourning her husband 4chan’s mysterious death. Just look for the lady in the blue wig and black feathered robe.
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00:31:57:22 - 00:32:02:23
O Stecina (They/He)
And as a send off, I asked the team if they had anything they wanted my audience to know.
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00:32:03:00 - 00:32:20:12
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Well, so let the world know from my perspective here, you know, I'm a I'm a doer of things, I'm something of a Renaissance man. And I think if you're in that kind of, you know, ballpark as a, as a person, okay, if you if you have the opportunity to do something funny, please do it. Please, just please just do it, okay? Because you will make some great friends.
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00:32:20:12 - 00:32:23:00
Cosmic (Any Pronouns)
Always commit to the bit.
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00:32:23:02 - 00:32:24:10
Ruby (She/Her)
Yes!
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00:32:24:12 - 00:32:25:00
Lord Jason (He/They)
Always commit.
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00:32:25:00 - 00:32:25:17
Ruby (She/Her)
Bring back the bit!
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00:32:25:17 - 00:32:28:05
Lord Jason (He/They)
That's where you get the funniest shit.
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00:32:28:05 - 00:32:28:09
Roachmilk (They/Them)
Commit to bit.
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00:32:28:13 - 00:32:30:21
Ruby (She/Her)
Cringe and free!
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00:32:30:23 - 00:32:33:13
Doc (Any Pronouns)
And, I can't wait to see you at Dashcon 2.
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00:32:33:14 - 00:32:42:06
Lord Jason (He/They)
First person who finds me, I'll have something special for them. I don't know what it's going to be, but, like, if you find me first, then you get it.
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00:32:42:08 - 00:32:55:02
Ruby (She/Her)
All y'all who are not coming with anyone, come find me and my friend Nubs and stick with us. We're also going to be doing all the Homestuck shit and the meets, and we're running the meet at 4 o’clock, so.
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00:32:55:03 - 00:32:59:19
Roachmilk (They/Them)
I will be dressed up as God-tier Gamzee. Yeah, I will be making balloons.
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00:32:59:22 - 00:33:13:00
Ruby (She/Her)
I'm going to be Invader Jade. My skirt will have like, flower embroidery on it. So. And I'm going to be wearing a lot of Kandi to trade. So if you see me. Also my wig will defy gravity. So I hope I’ll be identifiable.
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00:33:13:02 - 00:33:16:22
Doc (Any Pronouns)
I'm going to be dressing up as myself. Like as my Sona, so.
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00:33:16:23 - 00:33:17:12
O Stecina (They/He)
Oh, nice.
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00:33:17:12 - 00:33:18:10
Lord Jason (He/They)
Hell yeah.
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00:33:18:12 - 00:33:19:23
O Stecina (They/He)
You gonna wear the eyepatch too?
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00:33:20:00 - 00:33:21:01
Doc (Any Pronouns)
Yes.
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00:33:21:03 - 00:33:23:23
Lord Jason (He/They)
Fuck yeah.
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00:33:24:00 - 00:33:39:04
O Stecina (They/He)
The other main thing that I wanted to get into this episode, because it's a pretty big deal, is the release of the con schedule. There are a lot of events, and I found reading them outright to be kind of boring. So I've taken the liberty of composing a fun little rap for you all to round out this episode.
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00:33:39:06 - 00:34:01:09
I'm hoping to have another episode ready for you in July, featuring not only Strange and the Croaker themselves, but also some panelists and Dashcon 2’s Accessibility Coordinator. I'm also very excited to say that in addition to my personal microphone stash, I will be hauling around a 3Dio microphone, those are the ones that have a set of ears on them, and that people use for ASMR all the time, at Dashcon for you to interact with and talk to.
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00:34:01:11 - 00:34:14:16
I think I'm going to put a sticky note smiley face on the front and name her “ASM-arjorie”. Now sit back, and enjoy my contribution to the eternal internet tradition of mediocre whiteboy rap.
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00:34:14:18 - 00:34:22:08
[Rap Beat]
O Stecina (They/He)
This is Dashcon 2!
00:34:22:10 - 00:34:38:19
I'm not Lin-Manuel Miranda, but I've kind of got a handle on the qualities of rhythm and an open tab of Rhymezone. Dashcon 2 has four main rooms for panels, plus the board game and the Dealer's Hall. Here in Toronto, that's my home! To keep from overcrowding, things get scheduled at the same time. Some of them will only be on discord, fully online.
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00:34:38:19 - 00:34:46:15
Here's some of the panels and events you can expect to see. You can't go to them all, so try to schedule your time wisely.
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00:34:46:17 - 00:34:49:07
This is Dashcon 2!
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00:34:49:09 - 00:35:11:07
Starting from the top at 10 a.m. we got “A03 101” in multi-purpose room 2C. “Nico the Catboy” and “Haruhi Suzumiya”, and the opening ceremonies, that's where I'll see ya! At 11:30 “Dashstuck” and the cosplay competition, and the “making of” panel, how this all came to fruition. Magnus Archivs fans head to room 2A at 12 p.m. for your cosplay fan panel and meet several Jonathan Sims.
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00:35:11:07 - 00:35:18:15
The Croaker reads the Bible like a muppet drag storytime and Strange Aeons discusses archeology that's online.
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00:35:18:17 - 00:35:21:11
This is Dashcon 2!
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00:35:21:11 - 00:35:52:22
At 2:00 begins their fateful duel, where flesh strikes foam, noodle of pool. Karate kicks and sharp eyeliner, several quips and fun one-liners. A battle fought for a coveted title, two of Tumblr's current idols. Discord watchers grip their chairs. Both came to battle quite prepared. Only one claims the victory of Ultimate Microcelebrity.
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00:35:52:24 - 00:36:14:01
After the duel unfolds, there will be treasures untold, cuz at the “Crow Exchange” all that glitters is gold. Create an art abomination in the “Exquisite Corpse” or meander, greet the world’s first life-sized Plinko Horse! Try the sexyman quiz show and try not to swoon or join Lochlan O'Neil for a panel on raccoons! Then some IRL exclusives cuz we don't want to get DMCAed, 3 p.m. is the drag show.
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00:36:14:01 - 00:36:24:00
Shout out to the gays! And if idols are more your style, Toronto Tenshi’s got a showcase for you. Stay a while!That starts at 5:00, right after the timelords go on trial.
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00:36:24:01 - 00:36:25:06
Dashcon 2!
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00:36:25:08 - 00:36:33:07
It's not all silly though. Come and learn something new, at “Cancer, Transness, Neurodivergence, And You”! At 5:30, CJ the X and Bloody Heartss.
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00:36:33:07 - 00:36:51:19
Or learn some ballroom dancing. Now's a great time to start. We're getting near the end. I know it's so sad to see, but hey, there's still “The Chaos of Teen TV” with Uncarley! And at 7:00, the closing ceremonies. If you're a fan of musical theater, it's time to celebrate! Trivia at 7:00, karaoke at 8:00.
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00:36:51:19 - 00:37:10:16
Grab your DM for “Monsters and Modules”, maybe find a new recruit. For emo fanfic historians, “My Immortal Kahoot”! The day’s now done and I'm sure nothing went wrong. But no matter what, there's still good old Tumblr Prom. Use your newfound ballroom dancing skills to join “The Royal Ball” and rejoice with your bros, a lovely day had by all.
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00:37:10:18 - 00:37:13:07
This is Dashcon 2!
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00:37:13:09 - 00:37:29:07
And let's not forget our virtual friends, and their exclusive panels, jeez this song never ends! Like The CW’s “The 100” from a Queer Studies lens! Archiving for the web, Tumblr memes throughout history, voice acting, fanfic, some more that are still a mystery! Type in discord chat so fast your hands get blistery!
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00:37:29:10 - 00:37:34:12
Dash dash dash dash dashcon!
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00:37:34:14 - 00:37:45:06
Of course all of these panels and timings are subject to change. So why did I make this whole rap? Because I'm deranged. Yaaaay.
Episode 3: Dashcon-Eve
00:00:03:15 - 00:00:17:05
O Stecina (They/He)
I've made a few different versions of the opening script for this episode, depending on when I was able to finish it and put it up online. I'm going to give you all the versions anyway, because we're all about exclusive behind the scenes content here on Return To The Ballpit.
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00:00:17:05 - 00:01:02:18
Version 1: If you're hearing this, that means that I managed to put this episode together in less than five days, which would not quite be a personal record for me, but it's cutting it close. My penchant for procrastination simply knows no bounds. Perhaps you're listening to this on your flight and/or car ride and/or TTC adventure to Dashcon 2. Maybe it's your post-con wind down podcast of choice. Maybe it's the year 3000 and you're reminiscing about a simpler time before we all lived underwater. Regardless, welcome. I'm coming to you June 30th, 2025, where the last episode's rap has already become outdated. Pride celebrations in Toronto have just wrapped up, and the confetti still lingers on the street outside my office. And people are beginning to arrive in Toronto in preparation for the convention of the century: Dashcon 2.
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00:01:02:20 - 00:01:33:07
Version 2: And if you're hearing this, that means that we're doing a little bit of time traveling. We have the knowledge. We have seen how it all transpired, or at least those of us who attended in cyberspace and/or meatspace. With the blessing of hindsight, we shall giggle with glee, hearing the untainted record of those without that Essential Knowledge. How did they think it was all going to go? Were they right? Did anybody actually piss in the ballpit this time? Who won the duel? We know these things now, but our beloved guests live in blissful ignorance. Thus is the joy of the recorded word.
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00:01:33:09 - 00:02:16:16
Version 3: And if you're hearing this one, that means Fall Out Boy was added to the schedule. You're seeing Fall Boy on a concert. Everyone is having a great time. Fall Out Boy seem a little excited. We have a surprise for you guys, Partick [sic] says. All of a sudden, P!ATD come out and start singing “This is Gospel”. When Brendon gets the chorus, someone else starts singing. “When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band.” Lights flash everywhere and you see FOB singing “This is Gospel” along with P!ATD while MCR are singing “Black Parade”. Everyone in the crowd is going wild and crying. Then if things couldn't get any better, Dan and Phil walk on stage and kiss holding the gay flag. You're shuttled back to YYZ via the Down with Cis bus, as was predicted in the ancient scrolls.
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00:02:16:18 - 00:02:31:12
No matter when this does come out, I've got a pretty star studded episode for you this month. You've all been very patient and I thank you. The universe saw me enjoying the privileges of living in Toronto, and decided to NERF me by breaking my AC during a heatwave and then breaking my dishwasher.
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00:02:31:14 - 00:02:53:03
But they cannot stop me from editing this podcast in my lovely air conditioned office while listening to Northernlion and Jerma streams in the background. They also cannot stop me from giving you all the very first Muppet Joker voice reveal and Teya Strangeaeons’ personal poutine recommendation. Take my hand. We're going to listen to some interviews.
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00:02:53:05 - 00:03:17:11
The Muppet Joker (Any Pronouns)
Back when I was a wee middle schooler, I would only consume Tumblr though, like, Pinterest screenshots. That was all I had access to. But the blog started just because I wanted to be a new guy, and I'm trying to come up with a cooler, more like, yeah, I had this passion project idea that I planned out years in advance, but I just thought it'd be fun. What if what if a Muppet was a Joker? That’s, that’s it.
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00:03:17:13 - 00:03:27:12
Ash (They/Them)
A lot of people don't know this, like extra tidbit of lore on why I’m going to Dashcon 2. I've been commissioned to kill The Muppet Joker, like, Caesar style. I don't think I will, but I might.
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00:03:27:12 - 00:03:29:23
O Stecina (They/He)
Commissioned by who?
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00:03:30:00 - 00:03:43:13
Ash (They/Them)
My coven leader V put out this post about, you know, I guess psychically raising her psychic dagger and stabbing him psychically. And I was like, “Okay, sure, girl. Whatever you say. ” You know, she's my coven leader. I gotta do what she says.
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00:03:43:15 - 00:04:08:20
Ruby (She/Her)
Last summer, I was at a party in one of the, like, five times a year I leave my house, and at this party, I overheard the word “Dashcon”. So, like the Tumblr user that I am, I immediately zeroed in on that conversation because I was like, hold on, I know who these people who are talking are. These are my friends. So when they reached out and asked if I would be the accessibility coordinator, that was actually really cool.
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00:04:08:22 - 00:04:33:06
Scarlett (They/Them)
I was pretty surprised when they asked, just because I wasn't expecting it from Dashcon. I was honored, obviously, but I'm presenting the panel “Cancer, Transness, Neurodivergence, and You”, which is a panel exploring sort of the the special considerations that trans and neurodivergent patients have when faced with cancer or like when going to an oncology appointment.
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00:04:33:08 - 00:04:43:24
Mateo (They/He)
Like a year and a half ago, I made a PowerPoint about like how dateable each Doctor is. Then Dashcon 2 was announced, I was like, what if I reworked this thing into like a trial of their war crimes?
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00:04:43:24 - 00:04:55:14
Mimic (He/They)
You put up your stream and said, “Hey, I'm making a tier list of The Doctor's crimes. Everybody look at my tier list.” And I think that's where, like, the idea began to blossom itself.
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00:04:55:18 - 00:05:15:13
Teya (She/Her)
Wow. What are the events of my life that has led me to this moment? I ask myself this often. So I've been on YouTube for eight years. I've been on Tumblr far longer than that. I am maybe the internet's most well known Tumblrina. My audience is all like, weird nerds and I love that. I would not change that. So.
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00:05:15:15 - 00:05:59:16
O Stecina (They/He)
There's just some hors d’oeuvres for you, tastes of what is to come in this episode. I've been sitting on hours of audio that's just been begging to be tucked into my beautifully color coded and overly complicated Pro Tools session file. But where to start? How about with a triple threat: voice actor, animator, vampire? The name “Bloody Heartss” is probably somewhat familiar to you at this point. I mentioned it in the first episode when it evolved from Dashcon On The Lawn, and it's also mentioned in last episode's schedule rap. It's being screened at 5:30 in Multi-purpose Room 2C, and is a very enjoyable watch for fans of campy, homemade early-flash-style animation. And though I've been told it's not strictly autobiographical, it is made by a self-proclaimed vampire.
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00:05:59:18 - 00:06:17:09
Ash (They/Them)
Hi, my name is Ash. I'm the animator for Bloody Heartss. I usually say lead animator, but no one else is animating, t's just me. And, I am a panelist at Dashcon 2. I grew up kind of sheltered, and so I didn't really get to have a phone or like, internet. Like I wasn't allowed to play Minecraft or anything like that.
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00:06:17:09 - 00:06:18:02
O Stecina (They/He)
That's wild!
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00:06:18:02 - 00:06:35:10
Ash (They/Them)
And so basically, the only social media I ever had when I was a kid was like YouTube. Stuff from the Warrior Cats fandom was like my entire childhood, and that was just kind of like people drawing and editing it to music and putting it out there. And it was getting like thousands and millions of views. And I was like, this is great, I love this!
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00:06:35:12 - 00:06:56:03
Ash (They/Them)
And when Grant and I came up with the idea for Bloody Heartss, I was like, “I want to make independent animation and post it on YouTube.” I've seen so many people compare Bloody Heartss to “Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls”. I will honestly say, Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls, it forced me to realize like, dude, just make art and put it out there!
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00:06:56:03 - 00:07:18:15
Like, it doesn't matter if it looks good to you or not. It doesn't even matter if it looks good at all! If you can make something that tells a story and has a heart to it and people like it, just do it! So in the Dashcon 2 or Bust server, I was like, “Oh, you know, I'm going because I animate for this series and we promote our stuff on Tumblr, and I think it would be funny to go to Dashcon and just kind of be like, ha! I do this.”
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00:07:18:21 - 00:07:38:05
But it turns out that a lot of people in the server were like, “You should just play this at Dashcon 2, like, find a screen or a projector or something and just kind of like, make it happen.” The spirit of the original Dashcon I feel like that that was what it was, was just people who are really enthusiastic about a creative project just coming together and like making stuff happen.
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00:07:38:07 - 00:08:17:05
And I was like, “That's perfect! I want to do that!” And I turned it into this whole thing. I have this whole blog for it. It was called “Dashcon On The Lawn”, and it was my original pop up event that I was going to try to do with like zero prior experience. And I sent an email to the Dashcon 2 queries, like, email, and I was like, “I'm already attending the con. Here's what I plan on doing. Are you okay with that? Like, am I going to be in the way?” And Simone emailed me back and she was so nice, so kind, she was so happy about it too. She was like, “I love this and I love your enthusiasm. We're going to put you on the panel waiting list.”
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00:08:17:05 - 00:08:36:16
Like a few weeks after that, I got a discord notification from the Dashcon 2, like group discord account. The clown car. And they were like, “Hey girl, guess what? You get to be a panelist!” And I was like, “Oh my God!” Like I literally freaked out. I went around telling everybody I knew that, like, I was going to be a panelist at this convention in another country.
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00:08:36:18 - 00:08:37:21
O Stecina (They/He)
How far are you coming from?
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00:08:37:21 - 00:08:40:13
Ash (They/Them)
I'm coming from bumfuck Utah.
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00:08:40:18 - 00:08:44:03
O Stecina (They/He)
The not being able to play Minecraft thing makes a little bit more sense now.
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00:08:44:05 - 00:09:06:24
Ash (They/Them)
Yes it does. Yes it does. I'm very comfortable in saying that I was raised Mormon and like even with all the restrictions that the LDS church has, it's like, “We all have the freedom of choice! God gave us that freedom of choice. You can choose whatever you want. Just make sure you choose the right things!” And so it's like like with being a vampire, like with having the choice of, you know, becoming a vampire taken from me.
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00:09:06:24 - 00:09:19:23
Like, of course V didn't ask before she kidnaped me in the street. I did feel that shame where it was like, I don't know if I'm drinking blood and not going out in the sun is against the Ten Commandments. Like it does really kind of fuck with your worldview I think.
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00:09:20:00 - 00:09:42:24
When I was 18, I moved out of the house to follow my partner who was going to college. It was a pretty far move and I was really stressed about it. I was super depressed. I quit my job once I was there, and I would just kind of wander at night, and I got bit by a vampire while I was out there. So don't walk around at night alone in dark alleyways, or a vampire lady might snatch you and turn you into a spawn.
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00:09:43:03 - 00:10:11:15
My transformation is taking place still. V says that I'm taking a super long time to actually transform, but hopefully by the end of this year I will be a full, mature vampire. I'll have my fangs, I'll have my hair, I'll have everything. It'll be great. The only vampires that I've ever spoken to are my coven. So it's just V and it's just Grant, and it's just the people who work on Bloody Heartss with me, and so I am really excited to get out to Toronto, to a big city, and hopefully meet not only other vampires, but also like, I guess, just other people.
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00:10:11:17 - 00:10:50:03
When my transformation is complete, I'm going to get like an element. V is a Psychic Vampire. Grant is an Earth Vampire. Being a mature vampire comes with extremely bright colored hair. You can't cut it or like, get rid of it. Like it's always going to be that color. And so that's that's very stressful for me to think about, like, oh, you know, people aren't going to like me because of my appearance. Nobody's going to want to hire me because of the way I look or the way I act or my restrictions or things that I have to deal with, with being who I am. Please let me work only at night time. Please don't make me go out in the sun or, I don't know, talk to people who have garlic breath.
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00:10:50:05 - 00:11:17:21
Bloody Heartss is supposed to be a coming of age story. All the characters they have like this ambiguous age because we want it to feel like this can happen to you at any stage of your life. You can come into this new world and be like, “Holy shit, what does this mean?” And so back when I was first coming to terms with being a spawn and understanding that one day I'm going to be a vampire and figuring out what kind of toll that was going to take on me, I was like, “How do I, like, share this world with other people?”
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00:11:17:23 - 00:11:42:09
The original spirit of Bloody Heartss is to be, like, this is what it's like to be different and to figure out where you fit in the world and in society. And I wanted to tell I'm like this coming of age, like Romeo and Juliet style story where there's forbidden love and tough societal expectations and figuring out what you're supposed to be like while mixing in stuff about our specific, you know, world and realm of vampires.
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00:11:42:15 - 00:11:59:04
I think any art form is just a way for someone to reach out, grab someone by the neck and be like, “This is what it's like to stand in my shoes.” That's what I want Bloody Heartss to be like, is to grab your attention and to to make you understand.
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00:11:59:06 - 00:12:35:24
O Stecina (They/He)
As of June 29th, 6 episodes of Bloody Heartss have been posted to YouTube so you can watch them right now if you are ticketless. Ash has also been posting some vlogs in preparation for Dashcon and their own training montage for battle against The Croaker. I have advised Ash that con staff will not let them bring an actual knife into the venue, and they seemed a little bit relieved to hear that. They also posted a transformation update on their blog on June 30th. A zoomed in image of some blue hair, which according to Grant, means that they will be a Water Vampire. My congratulations to Ash! I hope that they enjoy being near a non-salty lake while they're here.
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00:12:36:01 - 00:12:45:05
Let's hear from another set of panelists who are combining the tried and true Tumblr pastimes of Doctor Who posting and Phoenix Wright style courtroom arguments.
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00:12:45:07 - 00:12:53:00
Mateo (They/He)
Hello, my name is Mateo. I go by they/he pronouns, and I am going to be hosting the Trial of a Timelord panel at Dashcon 2.
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00:12:53:03 - 00:13:00:22
Mimic (He/They)
My name is Mimic or Max. I use he/they pronouns. I will be the Timelord on trial.
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00:13:00:24 - 00:13:07:09
Mateo (They/He)
There’s obviously like a whole kind of like PowerPoint where we, like, list the crimes and stuff, there’s going to be the judge.
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00:13:07:09 - 00:13:22:05
Mimic (He/They)
The plan is to do a little bit of pulling from the audience. I would personally like to have like, this person's the prosecutor, this person's the defendant, their job is to yell at me. My job is to be funny. That's what I'm scared about.
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00:13:22:07 - 00:13:23:18
Mateo (They/He)
It's like a little play!
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00:13:23:18 - 00:13:33:02
Mimic (He/They)
It would take like eight years to do every single Doctor's crimes. So we're kind of staggering it between the worst ones of the lot.
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00:13:33:02 - 00:13:42:10
Mateo (They/He)
All the modern ones, because people, I'm assuming, want to see those. And for the ones that we glaze over, we're still going to mention them briefly. They're just not going to come up on stage.
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00:13:42:11 - 00:13:45:14
Mimic (He/They)
They'll be like, filler while I'm doing costume change.
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00:13:45:18 - 00:13:49:00
Mateo (They/He)
I still want you to shave off your eyebrows for the 11th Doctor. That could be funny.
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00:13:49:02 - 00:13:51:16
O Stecina (They/He)
That would be great.
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00:13:51:18 - 00:13:52:22
Mimic (He/They)
We met at work. Yeah.
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00:13:53:01 - 00:13:54:02
Mateo (They/He)
Yeah.
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00:13:54:04 - 00:14:02:13
Mimic (He/They)
We both worked at the Strong Museum of Play. I keep gently encouraging Mateo to steal the giant Mr. Potato Head, but.
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00:14:02:16 - 00:14:08:05
Mateo (They/He)
I do, I do want it in my bedroom. I want it to say sweet nothings to me as I go to bed.
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00:14:08:07 - 00:14:12:17
Mimic (He/They)
Yeah. We just became like work besties. We play video games together.
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00:14:12:19 - 00:14:14:16
Mateo (They/He)
I pass out every single time on call.
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00:14:14:17 - 00:14:15:24
Mimic (He/They)
It's true.
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00:14:16:01 - 00:14:17:05
Mateo (They/He)
Without fail.
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00:14:17:07 - 00:14:21:06
Mimic (He/They)
Mateo becomes the sleepiest little kitchen at 2:30 in the morning.
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00:14:21:08 - 00:14:25:22
Mateo (They/He)
Yeah, I wonder why. I wonder why I get a little sleepy at 2:30 in the morning.
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00:14:25:24 - 00:15:02:17
Mimic (He/They)
I wonder why. I'm nocturnal. I've been on Tumblr for an embarrassing amount of time. I got an email address at the ripe age of 12, and what I did with that was make several social media accounts that would proceed to do nothing horrible to me, and everything was normal. And I'm fine. But it was primarily Doctor Who that got me into it. I was also into Sherlock, and I was waving at my cousins in the Supernatural fandom, and I have never watched Supernatural in my entire life, and I plan on keeping it that way.
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00:15:02:18 - 00:15:14:06
Mateo (They/He)
Let me tell you about my Tumblr journey. It's embarrassing. I was mostly in, the Yogscast fandom, which then I branched out into Doctor Who. I hit many a post limit back in the day.
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00:15:14:08 - 00:15:17:03
Mimic (He/They)
It's like talking about the Prohibition.
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00:15:17:05 - 00:15:24:22
Mateo (They/He)
I would say up until like 2:00am, like little 12, 13 year old me scrolling on Tumblr seeing things I shouldn't have been seeing.
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00:15:24:24 - 00:15:25:02
Mimic (He/They)
#nightblogging.
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00:15:25:02 - 00:15:26:16
O Stecina (They/He)
That’s what I was gonna say.
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00:15:26:18 - 00:15:42:04
Mateo (They/He)
Yeah, I had a nightmare last night that Max just went missing like half an hour before the panel, and I was, like, running around Toronto. And my brother was there for some reason, and we were looking for Max, and,
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00:15:42:06 - 00:15:44:07
Mimic (He/They)
What if they turn me into poutine?
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00:15:44:09 - 00:15:45:22
Mateo (They/He)
Oh, no!
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00:15:45:24 - 00:15:56:07
Make sure you have your phones ready to vote. Very important. Maybe if you if you haven't seen Doctor Who in a while, maybe go on Tardis Wiki, read some stuff.
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00:15:56:09 - 00:16:00:07
Mimic (He/They)
Come with your own records of The Doctor's war crimes.
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00:16:00:09 - 00:16:13:00
Mateo (They/He)
Yeah, if you're like a big fan of the Faction Paradox books, I haven't read those! I don't know what happens in that! You know, you know that, like the Eighth Doctor, like, I don’t know, punched a baby in the face in one of those, and you know that?
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00:16:13:00 - 00:16:20:08
Mimic (He/They)
They have to be truthful, this is a court of law, and as such, if you lie under oath, you will explode.
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00:16:20:10 - 00:16:41:02
Mateo (They/He)
Yeah. Be truthful. And also, if possible, funny. I almost added an untruthful fact. Somebody was like, “Oh, the Eighth Doctor ate a rat in this audio drama.” I was like “Oh, I haven't listened to that audio drama in two years. I'll listen to it tomorrow.” I listened to it. The twist at the end was it wasn't the Eighth Doctor, it was an alien guy that thought he was the Eighth Doctor.
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00:16:41:07 - 00:16:57:23
Really good twist, really good story. But I'm really sad about not being able to add him getting the rat. It was like a live rat. The sound, “Squeak, squeak squeak! [voracious eating noises]” Make sure to subscribe to the “Return to the Ballpit: A Dashcon 2 Podcast” Make-- subscribe to them on all audio platforms and rate them five stars.
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00:16:58:00 - 00:16:59:14
O Stecina (They/He)
Aw, jeez.
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00:16:59:16 - 00:17:02:15
Mimic (He/They)
Like, subscribe. Hit that bell.
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00:17:02:17 - 00:17:04:06
Mateo (They/He)
Hit that bell, fam!
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00:17:04:08 - 00:17:23:19
O Stecina (They/He)
If you get accused of eating a live rat with audio evidence, you're going to want a good lawyer. But if you want a great lawyer, my law firm the “Hell of a Bird” Team can help. If you’ve gotten in a spaceship crash, suffered a Neophyte Circuit breach, or are dealing with a worker's comp or social security issue, we can help represent you or find you the right attorney. Because you don't just need a legal team, you need the “Hell of a Bird” Team. Sorry, I've been watching a lot of Legal Eagle to keep tabs on the fall of American democracy.
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00:17:23:19 - 00:17:24:04
Sound Effect
[Red-Tailed Hawk Screech]
00:17:26:06 - 00:17:49:03
O Stecina (They/He)
Did you know? July is Disability Pride Month. Not “Gay Wrath” month, although there's plenty of overlap there. Here are two people who are working to help support Dashcon-goers with disabilities. Ruby, the accessibility coordinator. And Scarlett, host of the “Cancer, Transness, Neurodivergence, and You” panel happening at 4:30 in Room 2D. Also, this was totally unintentional, but both of their names are red.
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00:17:49:05 - 00:18:11:14
Ruby (She/Her)
I came along when we were still in talks with the original venue that we intended to go with. And as far as my role, it was basically just to oversee the accessibility stuff. What would be required, what needs to be set up, making sure that the venue was accessible, that sort of thing. I have experience attending conventions with a disability. I have never been on the organizational side before.
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00:18:11:15 - 00:18:25:20
There's just a lot of stuff that falls under this purview that you wouldn't really think about. I'm continuously thinking of things that I didn't initially consider, like because of how we're handling food, I want to make sure that common allergies are accommodated and compensated for.
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00:18:25:20 - 00:18:49:17
When we did the venue tour, I tagged along and we measured the doors and stuff to make sure that wheelchairs could potentially fit through the rooms we’re actually using. Arranging panel seating and taking into account that you don't want to have people who are using mobility aids shoved off to the side or stuck in the back, so leaving space for them with a decent view. Making sure there's places to rest, making sure there's access to food and water. That sort of thing. Just little stuff that adds up.
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00:18:49:23 - 00:19:14:18
I attend Anime North every year. There's never enough places to sit. They do have like specialized seating, but there's not enough of it to go around. This is a much smaller convention, and I'm hopeful that it will be less of a problem, especially with panels and other events running all day. But I'm just kind of taking into account the fact that I used to be able to sit on the floor and stand up. I can't do that anymore. I need to have someone with me to pull me off the ground, or I will be stuck.
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00:19:14:20 - 00:19:42:23
When I'm not doing, like, convention stuff, I am an enthusiast of internet history. I like watching video essays or listening to them while I do a bunch of stuff. I really like crafting. I spend a lot of time in fandom in general. I write fan fiction. I run my silly little media analysis anime blog. I'm out here watching every season of Miraculous Ladybug completely out of order.
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00:19:43:00 - 00:20:02:17
Have you ever tried to explain to your parents’ friends that you are working on Dashcon 2? Because I am cringe and free, but even I can't handle that one without taking a moment to breathe. Literally last week my mom called me like, “Hey, what's that convention you're working on?” And I had to be like, “Dashcon 2.”
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00:20:02:19 - 00:20:25:11
We did actually debate for a while whether we should call it “Dashcon 2” or not. Because it was just such a complete disaster in that it was planned to be so much bigger than it was. Practically, it was a pretty average fan convention with a lot of financial problems. And what it ended up being was a cautionary tale for the rest of us, I suppose.
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00:20:25:13 - 00:21:09:02
We are a small convention run by a small team. This is not going to be like, Fan Expo levels, and thank God for that, quite frankly. Just keep your expectations realistic. And I'm not saying that because I think this is going to be disappointing. I'm saying that because I know that a lot of people have been hyping this up for a very long time. And just remembering that everybody is just a person, I think is really important. You should treat them respectfully, but you shouldn't treat them like they're some kind of deity. The number one thing that we keep thinking about Dashcon is that we want to go to our own convention so bad. Like, we are just Tumblr users, we're out here.
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00:21:09:02 - 00:21:14:24
Sound Effect
[Musical Interlude]
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00:21:15:01 - 00:21:36:08
Scarlett (They/Them)
What got me into this in the first place? I don't have cancer, but I have a genetic cancer disorder called Lynch Syndrome, and Lynch Syndrome is closely associated with colon and endometrial cancer. So one of the things that I need is yearly colonoscopies, which is extremely cool and exciting.
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00:21:36:10 - 00:21:58:13
And as a neurodivergent person, being made to drink or eat something that I don't like or having my diet restricted, it was such a stressful prospect to me, and there were really no, like, resources I could turn to. Like everyone I went to was like, “Oh yeah, the procedure is fine, but the prep is horrible and it's going to be awful and you hate it,” and it's like, that, this does not reassure me.
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00:21:58:13 - 00:22:36:19
And there are a lot of GYN screenings that I have to get. I'm also at moderate risk for breast cancer, so I also have to think about that. And I just realized like, wow, the system is really not prepared to handle people who have specific needs or have gender dysphoria. And if we want to improve health outcomes for autistic people and trans people, like, access to HRT and gender affirming care is extremely important and probably the most important part. But having access to like affirming screenings and accessible screenings is so important.
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00:22:36:21 - 00:22:47:18
I'm doing a master's in public health right now. One of the things I'm focused on is like, how can we make healthcare better and more accessible for trans and neurodiverse people?
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00:22:47:18 - 00:23:12:16
I did a lot of research about statistics, and specifically Canada and Toronto, and I'm going to talk about some of the anti-trans efforts that have been going on in Canada. I made this references page, that ended up being ten pages long. It was a lot of work, but it was really rewarding. I feel like I learned a lot and it's hard to make this kind of topic funny, but I kind of wanted to cater it to the general crowd of Dashcon.
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00:23:12:20 - 00:23:38:18
I have this section near the end, hopefully I have time for it, where I'll talk about how to debunk, like phony cancer research. Because there's a lot of it online. There's a lot of like, “oh, kale cures cancer!” et cetera, and to start off that section, I included some of Tumblr's famous research, including “Alexandria's Genesis”, I included the “Moonmelon”. I'm sure I also have a GIF of the infinite chocolate.
00:23:38:20 - 00:24:03:07
One of the reasons I included it is because it's hard for a lot of autistic people, myself included, to know whether a scary headline is real or fake. And I feel like there's going to be a large audience of neurodivergent people. I'm neurodiverse, and I just feel like being able to, like, look out for it and like, catch statistics that may be like, misinformed, I feel like is a really important skill.
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00:24:03:13 - 00:24:17:04
I'm glad it's in a small center. What I kind of envision is just walking in and seeing a bunch of cosplayers and seeing people like making friends, just like meeting someone in the same fandom or seeing a really cool cosplay.
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00:24:17:06 - 00:24:48:19
I’m bringing my brother with me because I was like, I live in Massachusetts, in the US, so it's about a two hour flight. “Which of my cis het white friends can I bring? My brother!” and my brother is the least online person ever. I showed him the Strange Aeons documentary so he could be, like, up to date on history. I don't think he fully wrapped his head around The Muppet Joker. Like, how do you even explain The Muppet Joker to someone who doesn't, doesn't use any social media?
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00:24:48:21 - 00:25:22:12
O Stecina (They/He)
How do you describe The Muppet Joker to someone who isn't on any social media? A madman? An innovative designer of ARG narrative? A repressed basketcase? Just a guy who really likes The Muppets?Listeners, if you don't want to spoil the magic for yourself, I suggest skipping this section. Because we're about to meet the man (or Muppet?) behind the fuzzy green felt curtain. He's actually pretty great for conversation, and I also feel it's important to mention that he showed up to the virtual interview in a full goth makeup look.
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00:25:22:14 - 00:25:28:23
The Muppet Joker (Any Pronouns)
Do you ever get, like, a hate comment? And then you go to their blog and you're like, “Oh, they're really like this all the time. So they're just terrible.”
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00:25:29:00 - 00:25:29:24
O Stecina (They/He)
I love doing that!
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00:25:29:24 - 00:25:44:19
The Muppet Joker (Any Pronouns)
Yes! I wanted to, I love doing that too! I love being a hater, and I love winning arguments in my mind and being like, “Oh, so they're just stupid.” I wanted to create that experience for other people. So I started getting hate comments like-- “hate comments”, it's what I wanted, it wasn’t really hateful.
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00:25:44:23 - 00:26:13:19
I wanted to make sure not to actually be hurtful or hateful with anything that I was saying, and I kind of found the right line for that as I went. But I’d be “Strawman From Their Arguments”. I'd be like, “Ah! You're terrible and I'm the Joker, and I’m gonna get you!” And they'd be like, “Get a load of this guy, am I right?” And then all their followers would be like, “Yeah! Get a load of that guy. He's stupid!” And I’d be like, “Yeah I am! Get me!” So I don't know if that counts is when I made it big. But that's when I made it big in my heart. People believed me right away. They fell for it.
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00:26:13:21 - 00:27:06:19
You can't do a character for a certain amount of time without that character becoming a good chunk of you, unfortunately. So there's a percentage of Muppet Joker. That's me, but like to the left. For example, I unfortunately, I hate to say it, I do not have a Muppets kink. I'm a fake. I'm a fraud. But I do, I just, I love The Muppets. I have Muppet gender envy. I want to transition to a Muppet one day. It'll happen. You know, my love for the Muppets is the same, but a little different. I really love the DC Universe. DC Comics, I love Batman, I love the Joker. I love all that. Joker is not my favorite character. My favorite character is actually a vigilante called the Red Hood. So, you know, kind of the truth, but to the left. I do love the Joker, though. I think he rocks. I have a very complicated relationship with religion, that one’s just copy-pasted. I, I put a lot of my, like, middle school religious angst in there where I'm like, “Does God even love me?” You know, “What is God?” You know, whatever, that kind of stuff.
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00:27:06:19 - 00:27:22:23
I do have a complicated relationship with horses. That one's really real and really deep. I was bitten by two horses as a kid, and now I'm kind of scared of them. And that's the inspiration for every horse thing I put in there. I love Homestuck, unfortunately, that's that's my cardinal sin.
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00:27:22:23 - 00:27:50:06
And then another thing that is kind of a huge basis of the character for me personally, is I'm a neurodivergent person. I kind of struggle with emotional dysregulation or whatever. I like to make this character that like way overreacts to everything, like has comical levels of like anger and angst and whatever. Like everything that he does is at 100. And, you know, I think it's fun to kind of express that in just like a funny, silly way.
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00:27:50:08 - 00:28:50:10
I didn't even mean to, like, make a trans character at first. Honestly, I kind of just wanted to post in an online space where people assumed I was a guy and referred to me as he/him pronouns. And that wasn't my, conscious reason at first but a lot of it was like, “Everybody in these Tumblr comments is referring to me as a man. I’ve fooled them! I got em! Haha, why does this make me sad?” You know? I started accidentally sort of posting a lot of gender dysphoria content, and then everyone was like, “Muppet Joker, I think you might be transgender,” and I was like, I kind of do want to talk about being like trans, and bigender, and genderqueer and all that. But unfortunately, my starting point here was as a cis man. So I kind of painted myself into a corner where I had to be trans, but in the other direction. I had some people in my comments be like, “Hey, you're a transfemme queen!” and I'm like, “Opposite. But I, that’s out of character.” The whole experience I discovered I really do like it when people perceive me as a guy, and it made me had to look at it head on and, I’m maybe thinking of taking the jump and going on Testosterone maybe one day in the future.
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00:28:50:12 - 00:29:05:07
I had to do research. I want to know what's up. So I got into the Fictionkin communities and the Otherkin communities and the discord servers, and I do I do think that I like what they have to offer, and they rock. These guys, they got a little silly thing I can put in my character. And I was like, “Actually, they’re really cool.”
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00:29:05:07 - 00:29:33:16
And I was kind of the same with the Muppet Kink community. I'm so sorry for dragging your name through the mud with my blog and I don't want it to make it seem like I'm making fun of them. Because you know what? I actually do love the Muppet Fuckers. They're really cool. I got added to a discord server of, The Muppet Fuckers, some real genuine guys, and they were like, “Hey! We love your blog! Thanks for representing, guys! You make us feel better about being ourselves. Thank you for being a genuine Muppet Fucker,” and I was like, “I'm a fraud! I’m a fraud!! I had to come out to them. I was like, ”I don't really fuck Muppets I’m so sorry!”
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00:29:33:18 - 00:29:36:20
Like, anybody can be doing a bit. We all could be doing a bit.
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00:29:36:20 - 00:29:43:20
O Stecina (They/He)
Yeah, I, dream guest on my podcast? Fucking, the-cybersmith and pjackk, like.
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00:29:43:22 - 00:29:55:15
The Muppet Joker (Any Pronouns)
Oh my God, I'm pretty sure, I think cybersmith might be for real, I don't know, I'm going to find him in the meatspace and we'll discuss. He'll be my human pet.
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00:29:55:17 - 00:30:49:14
So Tumblr is used to the lies, you know, “Tumblr fake story”. Reddit doesn't really have that as much, I feel like? So I went on Reddit cause I needed to expand my web of lies, and I, I had people be like, “Okay, so here's what we know about this person. He's from Kentucky. He's male. He's probably a danger to the community. We have to find him and report him to the police before he gets out of control.” I have like a horde of people in the comment section trying to, like, figure out who I was and report me to the police for being a menace to society or something. And I was like, “Oh! They're like, scary over there.” Reddit people, you got to give them a mystery to solve. So I didn't originally tell them, “Here's his Tumblr!” You know, I was like, “Here's a crazy story about my nephew.” And I put in some clues in the comments. I was like, “and he likes Kermit and he likes the Joker and he has a Tumblr.” Someone in the comments was like, “I figured it out! I’ve connected the dots!” But they also look to try to find out where you live and doxx you and send the police after you, so.
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00:30:49:16 - 00:31:30:11
Almost nobody knows why I'm going to Canada this summer. The web of lies has spread to my real life. I can't let anybody know about this. My coworkers would all make fun of me. There've been some close calls. There have been some close calls. Somebody at work. I left my phone at my job, and I don't have a password on my phone because I'm a moron. But some sweet, lovely, well-meaning old lady, like, picked up my phone and was like, “I'm going to figure out who it is!” Unlocked it. And I came in and she's like, “Is this yours? And what's what's this ‘Vore’ you're talking about?” And I'm like, “Oh, don't worry about it! ” You know, my siblings know and my beautiful wife, and that's it.
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00:31:30:13 - 00:31:45:13
My poor, beautiful wife. So funny. I tell her about all the stuff I'm doing all the time. She's like, “That's incomprehensible to me. Thank you so much.” I have her, I have her proofread my posts and peer review them sometimes, and if I get a “What??” then I post it.
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00:31:45:15 - 00:32:13:06
People love a crazy story. People will believe lies if they're more fun. Don't ever let the facts interfere with a good story. You know what I mean? Somebody made a PowerPoint, proving that the cum was real, and I was so enthralled with that. I don't know if you saw it, they were like, “I know the jizz is real, and this is how I proved it.” And I was so impressed, with their research. But it's fake. It's not real. It was powdered sugar, cornstarch and water and a couple cat pairs to look like pubes. And that was it.
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00:32:13:08 - 00:32:45:15
Whenever I see anybody go like, “I think you this guy!” I always comment, “No one will ever believe you” under their post so that they're just alone going, “I know the truth and nobody else knows the truth!” So I did that. And then Strange Aeons also commented under it “No one will ever believe you,” which was nuts. And so people have just been running around with that. And then I think it was the same album or something that I kept referencing was the same one that Strange Aeons was into or something? I kept accidentally confirming this theory. And the truth is, I was just getting all that from my my real life emo roommate that I was sourcing information from because I'm a fake emo.
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00:32:45:18 - 00:33:05:11
I think it's a silly little theory. I think that it's not true! And you can't prove it! And no one will ever believe you! I, I, I'm hoping this this podcast will dispel some of the evil and twisted and dark rumors, with my very distinct Homestuck accent. I am my own man. It's me. Muppet Joker!
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00:33:05:13 - 00:33:26:08
I was at work and I was, you know, on my phone scrolling through YouTube, and I was like, “Wait a minute! What’s that?” because I, you know, I'm I'm a fan of Strange Aeons, I'm subscribed to her channel, so I get the notifications and I was like, “Oh! Is that video...me?” And then I had very hard time focusing on my work day because I wanted to go home and watch my little video about me. And now I watch it all the time because I'm obsessed with myself.
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00:33:26:10 - 00:34:11:15
I love that video. I think she's really, really funny. I think it was mostly positive. I think that a lot of her followers are generally pretty chill and lovely people. With a lot more people looking at me, I get a lot more weird people in my DMs and weird people in my Ask Box, which is fair. I'm a weird guy. I'm very consistently, surprised, though, at how many people can out-crazy me online. And a lot of them, I'm sure are also doing a bit like I'm doing a bit, but then I’ve been like, “Wow, that's a really, you're committed to that bit!” You know?There's also been a few times where I assumed somebody was doing a bit. So I'm like, “Yes, let's be silly characters together.” Then I, it slowly dawned on me that I was actually just talking to a crazy person who meant me harm. And me learning internet safety and and not talking to strangers online, as much.
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00:34:11:17 - 00:34:27:04
Every couple of days I get an Anon and I know it's the same guy, because it’s the same Ask every time, where it's “broooooo shut the fuck up” with the same letter of “O”s. And I love that every couple of days they have to come remind me to shut the fuck up. I genuinely, there's no ill will in my heart for this person. I hope they continue every day.
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00:34:27:09 - 00:34:58:22
There's a couple other people that like when, there was a bunch of like, I think Redditors coming onto Tumblr to go shit on my account. I love their hate comments because they would just like make a Tumblr profile just to shit on me. Auto generated username. No profile picture, no nothing. And with that best shit under my my stuff, where they’re just, “Uh, incel much?” or like “You're not the Joker! Get a grip, buddy.” And I'm like, “Yeah!” I genuinely I have a hoot and a holler with it. It's so fun, leave more hate comments. Get nasty with them, you know, make me cry.
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00:34:58:24 - 00:35:19:17
But stop saying that I have feminine feet whoever keeps saying that. Stop saying they look skeletal. I've gotten so many feet comments. I thought people would be horny and weird about it, which I prepared myself for. What I was not prepared for is people going, “Why your foot look like that? Why your foot weird?” Not to come on to your podcast to talk about my feet. It’s been bothering me for like a week. Not even the foot fetishists are biting.
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00:35:19:19 - 00:35:41:04
There’s been kind of a community of people who are, like, having a lot of fun with, the roleplaying aspect of everything and I can’t interact with all of them because there's like 100 billion, trillion of them by now. But like, I love scrolling through all the people who are like, have their own, like subplot going on that like, is like loosely kind of connected to the Muppet Joker Cinematic Universe, I guess. Everyone needs to play pretend.
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00:35:41:04 - 00:35:58:15
Basically. Everybody come play pretend with me. I've seen people be like, “Oh my God, how does The Muppet Joker have time to run 8000 blogs?” I don't, I work full time. No, most of it is at this point, other people and their like creativity. Like, Milton's blog and Sage’s blog were run by two different people, and they did a fantastic job with it.
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00:35:58:17 - 00:36:17:08
Most of the time when people, often they message me, and they go, “I have an idea. Can I join your your sandbox roleplay with this?” And I'm like, “Absolutely. I'll try to incorporate that.” And then half the time I forget and then I have to do it later. But a lot of people are just kind of chiming in with their own, like really cool ideas, and I wish I could incorporate all of them in good time instead of working at my evil job forever.
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00:36:17:10 - 00:36:57:00
With Milton and Sage specifically, I had a couple people in a like kind of planning discord server where I’d bounce ideas off of them and I was like, “Hey, I have, casting call. I'm going to probably be Athena because she's my girl, I love her, she's my OC. but I have this idea for a character named Milton, full name Hamilton. Here's some character beats. Character named Sage, here's some character beats. Do what you want with these characters. You can change whatever you want. Go crazy.” And I think they did a fantastic job. And some of it was like pre-planned, like in the discord server like, “Let's do this plot.” But a lot of it was just, we're reading each others’ posts and being like, “Okay, I'm reblogging with this thing and you're reblogging with this thing we're just making it up as we go.”
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00:36:57:00 - 00:37:02:21
So I can't do Muppet Joker forever. So I have a couple ideas for if I’m ever like, “You know what? I'm done with this blog.” I don't think I'll delete it.
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00:37:03:00 - 00:37:25:11
I think I'll post another layer of lies. Or I’ll be like, “Hey guys, out of character. My wife is divorcing me unless I, unless I stop posting on this blog. I missed, I missed my child's first birthday for Dashcon and I’m a deadbeat father. That's the truth. That's the real me. Sayonara, you Weeaboo shits.” or something, in some sort of hivliving style apology.
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00:37:25:11 - 00:37:44:03
And then, I mean, I feel like I feel like a good amount of people will clock it that that's a big fat lie. Especially because I just said what I'm going to do right now, here. But stories spread really fast, and I'm sure I would breach containment. Somebody would be like, “Oh my God, that Muppet fucking guy was actually a horrible father! Canceled!” You know? And I think that's my dream.
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00:37:44:05 - 00:38:02:07
I'm going to read the Bible. I'm rewriting the Bible with my my OCs, Kermit and Joker, do not steal. Writing the true story of Genesis. And I will be reading it. And there will be audience participation, and people will have to play along. Any bold theater kids who wish to act out my play. Read the Bible. Write the Bible. Act out the Bible at Dashcon 2.
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00:38:02:11 - 00:38:03:13
O Stecina (They/He)
Eat the Bible.
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00:38:03:15 - 00:38:25:13
The Muppet Joker (Any Pronouns)
Vriska Serket will be in the Bible. Do not worry. I know people were worried about that. Thank you. Thank you for letting me say words. I'm hanging up if I can find out how. Adios.
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00:38:25:15 - 00:38:50:16
O Stecina (They/He)
Muppet Joker truthers, you can unplug your ears now. Listen, I told you I would show you clowns un-greasepainted. The man behind the muppet, to me, is evidence of the joy of collaborative posting-based fiction. If you find yourself so inspired to start your own “Strawman From My Arguments” blog, or a “Me, But Worse” blog, I encourage it. I might have a catharsis blog floating around somewhere, but I'll never tell.
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00:38:50:18 - 00:39:04:10
Finally, to round out this episode, I got to fulfill a dream of mine, bringing Strange into the Allan Slaight Radio Institute to chat about her YouTube career, her experiences with Dashcon, and a bunch of other random shit.
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00:39:04:12 - 00:39:29:02
Teya (She/Her)
Well, my name is Teya, I run the Strange Aeons YouTube channel. When someone just yells at me on the subway like, “Oh my god! Are you Strange?” I'm like, “Yes!” I love it when they phrase it specifically like that. My channel really became what it is now, I think, during the pandemic, because I graduated university in 2020, and that was when it kind of became my job and I started doing the more research heavy, longer kind of videos that I do now.
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00:39:29:04 - 00:39:44:15
Whereas before that I was kind of just joking around, like I started it when I was in second year university at U of T, I was 19 years old. I just posted a three minute long video of me, like making fun of lesbian haircuts, and I showed it to my ex and she was like, “Oh my God, this is so funny, you should post it.”
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00:39:44:19 - 00:40:07:11
So I did and it got, I don't know, maybe a couple hundred views. So I was encouraged by that. And then I just kept making silly little videos every week. Eventually the video that really kickstarted my channel was making fun of Onision. I was reviewing his music videos. I'd been watching YouTube since I was a kid, and Onision drama, has been a staple of YouTube since the dawn of time, since like 2008 2009 Onision was already doing insane shit.
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00:40:07:13 - 00:40:22:24
So I was very familiar with the Onision drama genre of content, and I watched a lot of it, and I loved it. So I was like, I'm going to make this. The Tumblr Deep Dive series was another series that my channel was really built on, and that was an idea that I had from the beginning of starting my channel.
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00:40:23:01 - 00:40:48:06
There was a lot of Tumblr reaction videos, like not even really analysis, not even really deep dives. And it kind of always irked me as someone who was a Tumblr user, like all of the content that I saw and content that would do really well on YouTube, hundreds of thousands of views on these videos, like reacting to whatever such crazy Tumblr subculture. And it was always just YouTubers kind of looking at crunchy screenshots of Tumblr posts from Reddit or somewhere and laughing at it.
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00:40:48:06 - 00:41:19:08
And it was always coming from an outside perspective. And I was like, I am a resident Tumblr user. Like, I love reacting to crazy Tumblr subcultures too, but you can do it so much more interesting if you do it kind of from the inside and with a decent amount of empathy as well. Like you don't always have to be going, “Oh boo, this thing is weird, so it's bad.” What about, “This thing is weird. It's fascinating!” That that's kind of the thesis of my Tumblr content from the very beginning. This thing is weird, but what if that's what makes it great?
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00:41:19:10 - 00:41:23:17
O Stecina (They/He)
Was there something that you were searching for when you first joined, like Tumblr?
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00:41:23:19 - 00:41:39:04
Teya (She/Her)
Let me go back to the year 2011. I'm pretty sure it was Code Geass fandom? Code Geass is an anime from 2006. Being emo was not a phase. Unfortunately, anime was kind of a phase for me for a couple years in middle school, and I think it was that fandom that got me into Tumblr.
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00:41:39:06 - 00:42:14:19
Anyway, so the Tumblr deep dive series was very much a reaction to the kind of Tumblr content that existed on YouTube at the time, and it wasn't even particularly sophisticated at the beginning. I would literally just turn the camera on and go on Tumblr and scroll through the tags and look at stuff, and usually gain a better understanding of whatever I was looking at, like Dark Academia or the different cores, Goblincore Scenecore, again, not very sophisticated compared to the kind of analysis and research that I do now, but at the time it was something really different than had been done on YouTube.
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00:42:14:21 - 00:42:33:12
It's funny how often friends will, like, send me Instagram posts and it's just screenshots of Tumblr posts and like, people still do dramatic readings of Tumblr posts on TikTok and like, there's whole subreddits dedicated to Tumblr still. People still like Tumblr content. Come to our fun website! Stop consuming it through other places, come to our fun website!
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00:42:33:17 - 00:42:44:00
I think a lot of people find it difficult to get started with Tumblr, like how do you find people to follow? And it is hard sometimes. It can take a while, I think, to build up a good dashboard, but it's worth it.
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00:42:44:04 - 00:42:46:06
O Stecina (They/He)
The algorithm is not holding your hand very much.
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00:42:46:06 - 00:42:46:22
Teya (She/Her)
No.
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00:42:46:24 - 00:42:47:16
O Stecina (They/He)
I like that.
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00:42:47:16 - 00:43:06:12
Teya (She/Her)
I like that! I can't stand scrolling on Instagram. Like I basically use it to like post pictures of my cat sometimes and to keep in contact with friends who use it. Like, I'll start scrolling on it sometimes and I'm like, “I want to see posts to people I follow, like, what is all this? Like, I don't want any of this! I just wanna go back to Tumblr.”
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00:43:06:14 - 00:43:38:05
I went back to school, I studied documentary film at Seneca, for, it was only like a year long program, but I was right in the middle of that program. So I was working on my first short film as well, and I had been trying to scale back the YouTube content while I was in school, and while I was working on more film stuff. Of course, I was like, well, the one year anniversary of Dashcon is coming up. I can't post this video any other time, so I have to dive into this absolutely massive YouTube video at the same time. So to be honest, kind of a blur.
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00:43:38:07 - 00:43:55:02
So it took me maybe total of five weeks. I started with mostly text based interviews. Originally, I considered the idea of doing, you know, some video, some audio, some text based, but the vast majority of attendees preferred just to do text based interviews.
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00:43:55:02 - 00:44:30:12
I think I ended up talking to like 50 to 70 people and there was only one that I fully cut. I don't know. Some of their claims seemed a bit dubious. I couldn't verify that they were an actual attendee, and their claims seem to contradict a lot of the other stuff that was said. The very first thing I did was try and do a deep dive into the primary sources, basically. The primary Tumblr posts, just trying to go back and find posts from people who were excited to go to Dashcon or people who were promoting their vendor stalls at Dashcon, you know, go beyond the kind of, “Oh my God, someone pissed in the ballpit!” type posts.
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00:44:30:14 - 00:44:42:15
But once you get going, you really get going, because a lot of these people were reblogging each other's posts and one person would post, “Oh my god, I'm so excited to go to Dashcon!” “Oh my God, I'm on this panel!” And then five more people would be like, “I'm also on this panel” or “I'm also excited to go.”
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00:44:42:15 - 00:45:18:24
So once you start, it's very easy to start building out a network of people who are connected to this event. So I compiled a huge document of confirmed Dashcon attendees. Then I started DMing those people and asking, basically, “Would you like to tell me how your Dashcon experience was?” And as I talked to more people, I started to refine the questioning a little bit more, down to like, “How did your experience contrast with the popular perception of Dashcon?” or “How did it line up with the popular perception of Dashcon?” You know, “What did people get right, and what did people get wrong about it?” “What are some of your most memorable moments?”
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00:45:19:03 - 00:45:52:09
I would basically copy and paste all of the messages into this massive fucking Google doc, and then kind of organize everything chronologically, like everyone would start with, “This is what I was doing in preparation for the convention.” “These are the cosplays I was planning.” And then, “This is what happened when I arrived, and this is when I started to get a weird vibe.” And then, “This is what happened in the ballroom on that night.” So I just kind of organized everything chronologically, deleted the stuff that was repetitive or uninteresting, and I ended up with this like 30 something page Google doc of just a chronological account of all of these different voices speaking about what happened.
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00:45:52:11 - 00:46:17:06
And honestly, some people hated that video because it was really stylistically different from what I had done before, but I wanted to just make something that was a complete rebellion against the way Dashcon had been portrayed before and just be like, “This video is long. Maybe there are parts of it that even get a little slow, but this is the stone cold account of what happened from as many people as I could find.” So.
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00:46:17:08 - 00:46:31:18
There's a lot of people that I've built a connection with as I'm making videos with them or about them. And then I think that turns out to be a bit of a 15 minutes of fame for them. It's like really exciting. And then it kind of goes away for them. Whereas for me it's just this is never ending.
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00:46:31:18 - 00:47:04:05
This is my fucking life, and I move on to the next video. I've also noticed my audience is very kind to me most of the time, but sometimes when I platform other people, my audience is not as nice to them or is judgmental? And I'm like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” But that is that is the horrors of being perceived on the internet. And, there's, there's one fan encounter that, like vividly stands out in my mind. They were a teenager, but this person screamed at me in the middle of a grocery store, and my first thought was that like a friend who I had a bad falling out with in high school had come back to kill me finally.
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00:47:04:07 - 00:47:20:13
And it just turned out to be a really excited teenager and that was okay. But it scared me. So don't scream at me. That's like the only line, really, if you want to give me weird little gifts or say hi or anything like that, that's totally fine. I think it's just going to be everyone trying to talk to me at the convention.
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00:47:20:19 - 00:47:39:05
If I am overwhelmed and tired, or if I say something weird, just, it's okay. It's not because I don't like you. I do expect to be like really tired and socially overwhelmed. But I will chug Monster Energy that day and I will try my best. This thing is like three times the size of my high school, so just imagining that in my mind I'm like, oh my God!
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00:47:39:07 - 00:48:00:21
I'm planning to get there pretty early and I'll probably be there with a camera when they open the doors and the Tumblr users flood in, my partner will be there. I'd like to go to some panels. I want to go to Lochlan O'Neil's raccoon panel. I want to go to the ballroom dancing one, and The Royal Ball. Like I do also want to have fun as a Tumblr user who is there, even though I know I'm going to be socializing pretty much constantly.
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00:48:01:02 - 00:48:11:14
The organizers told me there's going to be a lemonade stand that says “Ballpit Piss.” I want to go to that. They are building a giant Horse Plinko. I want to play that giant Horse Plinko.
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00:48:11:16 - 00:48:25:16
I know a lot of people associate The Muppet Joker with me or like hear those posts in my voice. I am hoping that they take to the real Muppet Joker with just as much enthusiasm. I'm really excited to meet the actual person behind this stuff.
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00:48:25:16 - 00:49:04:12
The lore kinda just keeps growing. I eat onions now. I eat onions to grow my power. I take big juicy bites of onions and it freaks him out and we'll see. Am I going to throw onions at him in the ball pit? Not hard onions, just like some spring onions or something, I don't know. Will he turn me into a Muppet? We'll see. It's mostly just improv. I'm not a very athletic person. I don't have good balance. I hope I don't just, like, fall off and lose within like the first 30 seconds. An inflatable jousting match physically cannot go on that long. Someone's going to fall off within like a minute. We'll have to figure out how to make it, more exciting than just like we smack each other for 30 seconds and then it's done.
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00:49:04:14 - 00:49:29:10
It feels cliche to be like, “Oh, is this collective storytelling?” But it is! It's like the bit just keeps on growing based on how people respond to it and people getting egged on by weird Anons. I think it was Bethany Rage. Her real name is Ivy. She said something about how like, it's a great method of storytelling for people who kind of have some trouble staying focused because you're having constant stimulus and inspiration thrown at you from the outside.
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00:49:29:16 - 00:49:48:16
Like it's the thing that kind of keeps on going sometimes, whether you want it to or not. Like a lot of these great Tumblr dramas are not things that were ever planned. It was just something that really arose naturally. And I think if you try and plan it too much, you can completely ruin it. I don't know, I'm just open to whatever happens, I think.
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00:49:48:21 - 00:50:26:19
I love how this community is so willing to just be like, “Yeah, let's make something together. Let's do something weird. Let's keep the joke rolling.” I love how this thing has spiraled. And there's, I feel like as it spirals, more and more people get picked up by the rolling ball. And I've enjoyed meeting everyone so much. The idea that someone would do a “Dashcon 2: Toronto Edition” is like my absolute dream, and the organizers have been amazing, and I've been in contact with them pretty constantly as this thing develops and they thank me so much for promoting things and for lending my voice to what they're doing. But I'm like, I almost can't accept that. I'm like, “No, thank you for doing this!”
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00:50:26:19 - 00:50:41:00
I went on a little road trip with them to buy the Ballpit on Facebook Marketplace. I took the bus and they just like rolled up in the car, like couldn't turn around and get me. So they like, drove right past me and someone was waving out the window and I'm like, chasing down their car.
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00:50:41:04 - 00:51:04:24
Anyway, I eventually jumped in and we drove out to Markham to buy a ballpit on Facebook Marketplace. The organizers originally had a dream venue that was, not the one they ended up getting. And it fell through because of the reputation of the first Dashcon. You know, it's it's following in the tradition of the original Dashcon in that the venue is not really in the city, it’s kind of more on the outskirts or in a suburb.
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00:51:05:01 - 00:51:23:13
But the venue they had originally wanted was right downtown Toronto, and I think the vibe would have been really cool to have it there. And I'm hoping in future years that'll be the case. If they can prove with this year that it was successful and not a infamous scam of the century, I think Toronto can be the home of Dashcon.
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00:51:23:15 - 00:51:36:03
If you come to Toronto, the Sneaky Dee’s nachos are pretty good. The vibes there, also, it's like a staple of Tumblr alt culture. The vibes are good, the atmosphere, you can like break out your Sharpie and start writing all over the tables and like it's just part of going there. It's fun.
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00:51:36:08 - 00:51:45:03
O Stecina (They/He)
Emo Nite was happening while my mom was here helping me move into my dorm. And so I took her to Emo Nite with me.
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00:51:45:03 - 00:51:45:24
Teya (She/Her)
Oh that’s so funny.
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00:51:46:00 - 00:51:48:09
O Stecina (They/He)
She got hit on by so many dudes.
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00:51:48:09 - 00:51:49:01
Teya (She/Her)
Oh my God!
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00:51:49:02 - 00:51:53:02
O Stecina (They/He)
And she was like, “This never happens.”
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00:51:53:04 - 00:51:58:18
Teya (She/Her)
Emo Nite is apparently where it's at if you're a MILF? Okay! That's so funny.
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00:51:58:20 - 00:52:05:06
Oh, also, if you wish to sample the primordial slime that is poutine, the Grenadier restaurant in High Park has the best in the city. I think.
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00:52:05:07 - 00:52:08:05
O Stecina (They/He)
The official food of the Strange Aeons YouTube channel.
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00:52:08:07 - 00:52:12:22
Teya (She/Her)
It is. I filmed my training montage in High Park. Love High Park.
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00:52:12:24 - 00:52:17:13
O Stecina (They/He)
As a sign off, I suppose. I don't know. Have fun at Dashcon, I guess.
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00:52:17:16 - 00:52:21:11
Teya (She/Her)
Hell yeah. You too. We're gonna have fun at Dashcon.
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00:52:21:13 - 00:52:28:07
O Stecina (They/He)
It's going to be lit. I will be there. You will be there. We, everyone will be square.
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00:52:28:09 - 00:52:30:13
Teya (She/Her)
Exactly.
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00:52:30:15 - 00:52:54:11
O Stecina (They/He)
This will not be the last that you hear of Teya. I'm going to be talking with her again a few days after Dashcon for a little reflection, provided that she isn't transformed into some sort of Muppet homunculus during the duel. I still have yet more in pre-convention interview content to share with you, but the next episode will be the first to feature some real on the ground at the con stuff, including some very interesting immersive stereo sound from my good microphone buddy “ASMR-jorie”
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00:52:54:13 - 00:53:07:18
When you hear me next, I shall be a changed man. If you see me at the convention, say hi! I will be wearing the world's shittiest John Egbert cosplay sourced from Value Village and Dollarama, because I'm just that Canadian now. Elbows up, people!
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00:53:07:20 - 00:53:27:19
I realized that I've also kind of painted myself into a little bit of a corner by having a funny song at the end of every episode. So while this isn't new content per se, here is a decidedly Tumblr song that I created at around the same time as OG Dashcon was happening, to serve as your cringe primer. I love you all. MWAH!
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00:53:27:21 - 00:53:57:13
O, Age 14 [Sung]
Have you ever found yourself in this awkward situation when you need another explanation and you don't know what to do? You need to tell all your internet friends that you got some at half past 10:00, but they don't understand because they're nerds. Just say “Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin’ the Do” Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin’ the Do with you, Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin’ the Do
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00:53:57:15 - 00:54:25:12
Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin’ the Do [keysmash] asdfklasdfjkl. Don't say that because it sounds like you're fangirling. Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin’ the Do, with you, with you, with you, with you. So many ways say what you need to say, you can spit it out another way.
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00:54:25:14 - 00:54:46:01
No thesaurus, just use Urban Dictionary. Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin’ the Do. Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin’ the Do with you, Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin' the Do, Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin’ the Do.
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00:54:46:03 - 00:55:03:18
If you tell your internet friends this, they're sure you understand. But you don't have to mention that you Frick Frack with your hand! Mushy Mushy, Bishi Bashi, Frickle Frackle, Doin’ the Do with you. Thank you!